I am setting a high bar on this one– can I write an article about perhaps the most pointless piece of Wargear ever sold.

It is a weapon that has been sad for more than two editions.

Why do so many models have them the GW range and why are they so useless?

The reason for my particular nerd rage bubbling has to do with the amount of models in the Dark Vengeance set has a damn Plasma Pistol.

Chaos Lord check, Space Marine Sergeant check, Limited edition Chaplain check, and that goes without mentioning the Plasma Cannon, Combi-plasma, and Plasma Guns on the other models. Yes I know, Dark Angels are the plasma lovers of the universe, but you have to admit they are a tad over doing it.

GW Plasma Pistol love is not just in Dark Vengeance. Kharn has one, Sicarius has one, Ulrik has one, Mephiston has one. Then we have the other characters Chaplain, Librarians, and Rune Priests have them!

Everywhere I look I see an otherwise cool model equipped with damn Plasma Pistols!

So why do I despise the Plasma Pistol so much?

The other plasma weapons have roles; plasma guns give you an extra shot, plasma cannons are blast, but the pistol is ever so sad.

Well for starters it is usually 15 pts. Second, it can kill me. Third, I have so many other, better choices to choose from.

Look at poor assault marines in the Space Marine codex. Did you know you take two of them? Not only can you kill myself and lose the already over cost Assault Marine, but I can another throw 15 just to make me extra happy. Instead, my Assault Marines can take two Flamers instead.

Really besides everything else wrong with them most units (sorry Berserkers) that have access to them can take something SO much  better.

Do I choose the Combi-weapon, Flamer, Meltagun, Plasma Gun, or take that expensive 15 point plasma pistol instead?

The clearest example of this can be found in the Blood Angels codex: Infernus pistol vs Plasma pistol.

Let see here do I take the  weapon that has a better strength, better AP1, and not try kill me every time I shoot it

Then we have the special characters with them. So many excellent ones have them, which is suitable, but wouldn’t you rather have your special characters be 15 points cheaper than have the damn pistol!

So how does GW fix the poor plasma pistol?

Well one of two things reduce the cost to 5 points or give it two shots; other than that why would ever waste the points? I constantly try to rack my brain to find any build or use for the Plasma Pistol, the best I could come up with is Khorne Beserkers Spend that extra 45 points you don’t have and get three plasma pistols, then add Kharn and you a veritable wild west plasma shootout on your hands. Now remember more Plasma Pistols means greater the chance your models get turned to goo.

Wow that was more words than I expected, anyway I think it is time to start to a petition to get the Plasma Pistol a much needed makeover, who is with me?

Oh btw what is this box I got direct from GW warehouses…

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Meat for Meta is rated editorial nonsense. These articles are meant to complain about some group, somewhere, that is playing the game for all the wrong reasons or simply to just make fun of 40k nerd rage.