May 14, 2012

“If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.”

Apr 24, 2012

“Just because swans mate for life, I don't think its that big a deal. First of all, if you're a swan, you're probably not going to find a swan that looks much better than the one you've got, so why not mate for life?”

Apr 5, 2012

"Another flawless victory. Ah well. It almost makes one long for a loss, just to keep things interesting. Almost, but not quite..." -- Lady Aurelia Malys, the Dhenial Massacre

Mar 29, 2012

"Kill them, my children, but make it slow..." -- Vaeghex

Mar 11, 2012

“As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint.”

Mar 5, 2012

“Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.”

Mar 1, 2012

“Just because swans mate for life, I don't think its that big a deal. First of all, if you're a swan, you're probably not going to find a swan that looks much better than the one you've got, so why not mate for life?”

Feb 28, 2012

“When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.”

Feb 24, 2012

“To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.”

Feb 15, 2012

“Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you.”