Friday Night Internet Fight: Round 2.4

Anybody ready for some gettin’ down on Friday?  This FNIF is all your collective faults for not sending me anything appalling this week.  For shame, I had to take the easy way out and visit BoLS again, after 30 minutes or more of lurking Dakka and Librarium didn’t yield any results.  Nevertheless, I’m pretty happy with how this FNIF has panned out.

The increasingly sad state of BoLS reader comments has come to a head recently.  It has become increasingly difficult to find a comment that is even relevant to the article being “discussed.”  The firsters have gotten worse and there is less and less real reason for me to attempt to contribute anything to the lack of discussion in these threads.  Luckily, in Brent’s most recent article the comments, most of which have nothing to do with Brent’s writing, take on a decidedly high-brow topic: grammar.  There are also a number of other things I find hilarious thrown in the mix like Brent nearly becoming a parody of himself and hate stalking taken to ever creepier levels.

As always, none of the names have been changed to protect their innocent, but their avatars have been for my own amusement.  Chronological post order has been changed to improve readability (if there can be any improvement of this at all) and the final post is actually from Strictly Average, not BoLS.  My snowmobiling is in read and will demonstrate my loathing for the community, myself, and most of all Brent.  Don’t forget to vote in the poll at the end of the article to pick your favorite or least favorite or fuck it, I have no idea by what criteria you guys are really voting.  Enjoy.  Or not.  I don’t care.


Grovel- What the hell is a Unicorn? ~looks like somebody is a Brent Virgin



hurrimadurr- A single ear of corn ~well played- and first time I think I’ve ever made a positive comment about this guy



Hugz4Genestealers- Giant, planet-eating robot.

Wait, stupid dyslexia. ~oh man, keeps getting better



MarshalWilhelm- When Dad uses one old joke all the time. ~wow, taking your hatred of Brent to all new levels or creepiness, although if he is your father, that might explain some of your animosity.


moriano- corny…

MarshalWilhelm- Well it could have been cornea, but I am out of eye jokes at present ~that’s very relieving to hear



LukeLicens- Unicorn.
French: Licorne
Latin: Unicornuus
Literally, ‘One Horn’. Unis, ‘one’ and ‘cornu’, a horn. A fabulous animal resembling a horse with one horn. Visible only to those who search and trust, and generally mistaken for a white mare.
Unicorn. ~you’re going to have to give me a minute on this one.  I’m going to step out for a second and come back when I stop laughing my ass off

TopHat_Gorilla- When using the word “fabulous” to describe a unicorn, it is customary to make a gesture known as “Jazz Hands”, I hope you remembered that. ~would spirit fingers also be permissible?


Brent- The actual answer is anyone from the GLBT community.  ~wait, shit, I thought it was a girl gamer.  Did I read something really wrong a long time ago?

They knew that, though. :)


ReverendTiberiusJackhammer- I realized I play too much 40k when I read that as “Gay-Lesbian-Black-Templar”… /sigh ~you show me a Lesbian BT and I’ll show you a glaring issue with your grasp of the fluff


cavalier1864- The plural of CODEX is CODICES.  ~cheese it, it’s the grammar police For the love of the gods, if you are going to write an article about the use of CODICES, then use the proper word.


Obsidian_Wolf- only if you’re willing to pull that piece of rebar out first, ~pretty sure rebar is not approved for internal use given how easily it rusts it’s unhealthy for your spine to be that straight



cavalier1864- Dude, I left all the other grammar issues out of the rant (and there many), so if you want to consider me a grammar Nazi because I am pointing out the repeated use of a word that does not exist, then good on you. ~so many grammatical errors in one sentence… so little time…. so much irony The point is that if you are going to write an entire article about codices, the you should probably have noticed, after the fifth or sixth use of the incorrect word, that there is a funny red squiggle under the word. To not look at it and think, “Maybe I should check that…” is sheer laziness. ~yet you have not considered the possibility that it was deliberate or that multiple spellings to often exist regardless of what the red squiggle says

Obsidian_Wolf- Ok, you obviously missed the blatant joking sarcasm there, so i’ll remember in the future to avoid trying to be funny around you ~well, if that’s what you call funny, it’s probably best to avoid it altogether going forward


cavalier1864- Point taken, but keep in mind that without smiles or other queues ~holy fuck, speaking of using the wrong god damn word it’s cues you jack ass , it can be difficult to tell when somebody is joking. This is something you may want to keep in mind. After all, the intarwebs are serious business :)


Dan Dostal- Codexes is a valid word ~it pains me to admit it, but I’m actually with the cavalier on this one. It is wildly ~I will give you that it is being used with wild abandon here used by a specific demographic in a specific context with a specific definition. That is how language works. ~pretty sure that’s not how it works, otherwise words like finna and y’all would acceptable You can take it out on your crappy English teachers who lied to you, but don’t take it out here. ~I’m not sure what you’re really driving at here, but I don’t think that grammar and spelling are a great conspiracy perpetrated by an evil consortium of teachers- they don’t earn nearly enough to justify caring about what they do even half that much

My money has always been on standardizing pluralization anyway. ~right now my money is on getting rid of capitalization- it’s fucking pointless.  I’m with the Bauhaus on this one (design school from the 1920s, not the band- pretty sure they don’t care about grammar) Keeping Latin, Greek, and French standards around is a poor way to communicate.

cavalier1864- Since when is “Codexes” a valid word? ~listen why can’t you just admit that since somebody said it, it’s true? I can find nowhere other than Lexicanum that uses the term “Codexes”, and even they admit that it is an incorrect conjugation ~declension.  Seriously stop using wrong words before I piss myself from laughing of the word. Sorry, but until it finds its way into an actual dictionary it remains incorrect. I fully accept that the correct plural of knife is now knifes, and that roof is now roofs, but until they actually put it in a real dictionary, the plural of codex is still codices. Sorry, Dan, but that is just the way it is. ~fun fact:  Octopus’ plural is acceptable as either octopuses, octopi, or octopus

By the way, Eurasia has always been at war with Pacifica, and War is Peace. Simplification of complicated language is not always a boon. ~??????

TopHat_Gorilla- “with a specific definition” Do you mean this? ~that would be a specific definition that shows no existence of “codexes.”  good job, not sure whose side you’re on here… :P

The demographic argument would make “Codexes” a slang term.

l192837465- Depending on the origin you think the word came from. It’s 100% correct as either “Codexi”, “Codexes”, or “Codices”. ~where you think it came from is much less important than where it actually came from, i.e. Latin


cavalier1864- None of which are “Codexes” which is not a word. ~except, of course, the one that was Codexes, but you’re right, still not a word.



l192837465- Nice, correcting someone on grammar and not using ANY in your rebuttal. ~ok, you may be on the wrong side of the most asinine argument I’ve ever seen on BoLS, but damn it you made me laugh you smarmy bastard
Very nice.

cavalier1864- I was correcting for WORD USE, not GRAMMAR. ~Tomato TOMATO- you know what, that joke really doesn’t work visually, does it.  I’ll spare you all the horror of breaking out my mastery of phonetic symbols, as there’s going to be plenty of that coming up later


l192837465- Definition of grammar: “the study of the way the
sentences of a language are constructed; morphology and syntax” ~with the amount of references to dictionary definitions already in this thread, it’s shaping up like the worst fucking graduation speech ever :)


cavalier1864- This is not a syntax issue, it is a vocabulary issue, my friend. ~thereby making it an issue of morphology.  I know you’ve mastered the use of the dictionary, so you may be advised to look up words you don’t understand in the future.


l192837465- I think it’s a metaphorical issue. ~now this is just getting silly, and kind of sad



cavalier1864- Codex (kō’dĕks’) pronunciation
n., pl., co·di·ces (kō’dĭ-sēz’, kŏd’ĭ-).
A manuscript volume, especially of a classic work or of the Scriptures. ~did not realize codi was acceptable.  I learned something.  I actually learned something


l192837465- I’ll concede you’re right if you concede you didn’t know the definition
of “grammar”. ~let the bargaining commence



cavalier1864- Grammar: (grăm’ər) pronunciation ~I raise you a long winded dictionary entry that I believe supports me which I’ll interpret incorrectly, thereby conceding my point

A. The study of how words and their component parts combine to form sentences.
B. The study of structural relationships in language or in a language, sometimes including pronunciation, meaning, and linguistic history.
A. The system of inflections, syntax, and word formation of a language.
B. The system of rules implicit in a language, viewed as a mechanism for generating all sentences possible in that language.

l192837465- And I quote: ”

A. The study of how words and their component parts combine to form sentences.” How does that not involve the use of proper words and punctuation both? ~2A is far more applicable as it doesn’t concern the use of sentences, but rather the “word formation of a language,” giving credence to your idea that grammar also concerns word use.  Shit, I’ve been sucked in…. somebody throw me a line

cavalier1864- The correct usage of words, their spelling, construction, and conjugation, is called vocabulary ~a subset of grammar… fuck did it again. The use of same in a sentence is called grammar. Again, I understand where you are coming from, and to an extent I will agree that this could be considered a grammar issue if you posit that Codexes is a proper conjugation of Codex. Since it isn’t, it becomes a vocabulary issue.

Wait, why are we engaged in an English language RAW/RAI debate? ~and here it is, the moment of complete clarity- a state of comment zen has just been achieved We are arguing semantics at this point, and frankly, you seem like a much nicer person than I am, so: my bad, you are correct:-) ~why do I feel so oddly let down by this resolution?

Brent- Hiya, Cavalier1864! ~Well hey there Brent, nice of you to join us so late into this mess.  It’s almost like you have a real life to worry about or something.  And there I was thinking that not Brent was handling your job and school responsibilities for you.

This conversation was already played out and done by the time I read it, so I don’t want to stir the whole thing up again. ~precisely the best reason to stir it up.  Starting a post like this has about the same effect as anything that starts out ‘ I don’t want to sound like a racist, but…’ Here you know something like epically minstrel-show-racist is about to happen

I did want to let you know I made a deliberate decision in regards to ‘Codexes’ versus ‘Codices,’ and not because it was flagged by Word.  It wasn’t, actually, and I’ve confirmed that just now. ~Fire Fox flagged it just now.  It’s been confirmed I’m also aware what the standard plural word is.

No, I used the word deliberately, because I’ve seen GW use it in the past!  ~I think it’s been proven that GW does not always have the best grasp over matters grammatical.  This is, after all, the same company that refers frequently to ‘a dice,’ a word formation that makes my teeth grate It stuck with me for the same reason you noticed it in this article, but I figured that was term they wanted to use and I’d use it.  No other reason. :)

I probably wouldn’t have mentioned it at all, except your first sentence caught my attention.  You intimated there are a number of grammar errors – and I’ll go ahead and admit that hurt! ~also, you dress funny and MarshalWilhelm hates you.

Couldn’t you have just called me a talentless hack then insulted my mother?  ~you’re a talentless hack and your mother reeks of elderberries Honestly it would have bothered me less. :)

You obviously care about these issues, and I respect that.  I do too.  The written word is very important to me and I know the rules of punctuation.  The dropped commas and the overuse of ellipses, semi-colons, and dashes is a very deliberate style choice, and I do so because I believe it reads better. ~so explain the labyrinthine, unwieldy sentences :)  What are they helping exactly?

We’re all taught in grade school to pause at commas (which, by the way, is the most common misconception governing its use), and it’s my belief we’re trained to do so even when we’re reading silently!  I like to keep the flow of a paragraph moving so I pull them where I can. ~I see what you did there you son of a bitch.  Have I told you lately that you’re not Cormac McCarthy?

I put an example in that last sentence!  It would be correct to insert a comma and the word ‘and,’ but it’s unnecessary.

This isn’t a decision I made in perfect ignorance.  You’re probably aware that, unlike French (which I studied in school… and that may explain some of my more unsavory habits) ~merde! there is no central authority governing the English language.  ~you are incorrect, the international coalition of grammar police has this shit locked down.  I think it’s a division of Interpol (the organization- again, not the band) That said, change happens; usually and most quickly through generations writing the way they speak.  ~I fear future iterations of the dictionary.  I’m pretty sure that in the year 2000 we’ll all be speaking like idiot bobbleheads that sound like a combination of text messages and lolcats To make a long example shorter, there is a movement in place now – and it’s being taught in colleges across the county – to discard the overuse of the comma…

…and maybe remove some of the 350+ rules associated with it! ~you’ll have to remove those commas from my cold dead hands Mr. Brent

Anyway, I’ve gone on long enough ~one might say too long even, as you are wont to do, but since you showed the passion to comment I thought you deserved a serious response from the author.  I’m human, so of course I make mistakes, but I come about them honestly and not through ignorance or laziness.

I appreciate your time, now and in the future.  :) ~wait, was this really just a cover letter for your application to the coalition of grammar police?  If so, it is my regret to inform you that we are not hiring at this time.


[poll id="20"]

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31 Responses to “Friday Night Internet Fight: Round 2.4”

  1. Agent of Change says:

    Brent summons wall of text… it crushes all opposition under it’s density.

  2. Nikephoros says:


    More like declension.

    Yes, I am an asshole.

  3. Evil Homer says:

    I want an application to the International Coalition of Grammar Police (ICGP).

  4. faolain says:

    The “Eurasia has always been at war with Pacifica, and War is Peace. Simplification of complicated language is not always a boon” is a reference to 1984.

    Also, “octopi” is incorrect. “Octopus” is a Greek word and the ending in -i is a Latin rule. The technically correct plural is “octopodes” but no one uses that so “octopuses” is fine.

    Thank you once again for a great FNIF.

    • Dethtron says:

      for the sake of argument I just checked and -pi does show up as an acceptable plural in the dictionary, in spite of your being correct about the Greek origins. Yet another reason to believe that English is a bullshit, pidgin language with no actual rules.

      ….and would you believe that I’ve never actually read 1984? True story.

    • Anonymous says:

      Funnily enough, it’s Oceania, not Pacifica. Using the wrong word again… so sad.

  5. Alex says:

    “looks like somebody is a Brent Virgin” – something tells me you just coined a new term that’s gonna pop up in future Brent articles

  6. The Antipope says:

    I voted for Marshal Wilhelm just for the creepy factor :)

  7. Hoagy says:

    All snowmobiling is in read?


  8. Gotthammer says:

    To be strictly correct with Latin declention you have seven cases to determine the form:

    Codex – Nominative singular – ‘There is a Codex on the shelf.’
    Codeces – Nominative plural – ‘There are two Codeces on the shelf’
    Codecis – Genitive – ‘the Codecis FAQ’
    Codeci – Dative – ‘I gave the Codeci to him’
    and some other stuff I don’t really remember.

    I just say Codexes though ;)

  9. Daniel says:

    Can’t we have a, ‘why the fuck did I just read that?’ option as well?

  10. N++ says:

    I was confused by Brent’s “unicorn” definition too… perhaps his BoLS persona is a little more “liberal” *jazz hands*

  11. Brent says:

    So, I’m here at the game store having a conversation about tank-shocking bubblewrap a la the Big Blue Shark Tank, when someone asked me, “So, did you know you made the Friday Night Internet Fight again?”

    *key shock and fear*

    “What?” says your hero and mine – me, bitches. “Oh, shit.”

    I reserve ‘Oh shits’ like that for only the most fear-inspiring surprises. It was with no little sense of trepidation that I kicked the owner off his computer and pulled up Dick Move.

    Then I saw what post you were using.., “Oh, shit.”

    I reserve ‘Oh shits’ like that for only the queasiest stomach-dropping moments of shock. I knew I was in for trouble.

    I knew I should have channeled Not Brent for my reply. I’ve been emailed all week that I was way too nice in that longish (I refuse to admit that it’s entirely too long) reply.

    I should have said something like…



    (Because I sign my comments – I know it bugs you!)

    And here’s what you missed, Dethtron.

  12. Gx1080 says:

    The BALLS readership was always this retarded, is just that all the people that aren’t forumites found out that they can be elsewere.

    That out, what the fuck is with Brent’s articles that makes them end in here? Seriously.

    You could always post one of the -dozen- threads or so of people whining about the Dreadknight.

  13. farmpunk says:

    I wonder if Cavalier gets his panties in a bunch over Dwarfs and Dwarves? I wish I’d been brave/stupid enough to wade into teh dumbtank to find out.

  14. Zack says:

    YOu really should get a 1984 quote but I know you hate my grammar so just saying hi

    • Dethtron says:

      haha, hello yourself.

      I went to one of the closing Borders stores this weekend looking for a copy of 1984 to fix this situation, but they didn’t have one. Dr. Girlfriend and I did somehow manage to drop almost $300 between us (I think half of our xmas shopping is done), get some awesome tacos, and pick up a stray dog on the way home, though. I also did get a copy of Animal Farm, another “classic” I somehow did not read in High School

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