The Bloggers of Blogging: Putting some swagger in the stylish blogger awards: the art of obnoxiously long titles!.

With real life taking precedence over fake Internet life with my fake persona and my persona’s secret alter ego, I have not had time to respond to the 3 separate Stylish Blogger award nominations that I’ve received in the last week or so.  Thanks to Lauby, Dave G, and the Antipope in reverse order for nominating me- now please people, stop sending me invitations to join your damn pyramid scheme!

Along with the huge cash prize I have received in my mind, comes the responsibility of sending awards out to 10-15 bloggers and sharing 7 things about myself (I think numerology suggests everything you need to know about that last bit).  Now here’s where things get interesting.  If I invest $1,000 at the ground level and each person I invite invests $1,000, I will get $100 from each of them, and 1/2 that amount for every person up the chain who is invited.  Next, we all begin working for Primerica, consolidate all of mankind’s debts into a single 30 year loan bearing a 4% interest rate, and solve world hunger.  It’s beautiful in its simplicity.

7 Rules for 7 things about me:

• So tonight, I was out grabbing some food and I thought that there was going to be a tornado so I rushed home in a torrential downpour to save all of the amps, the PA system, and one of my drum kits in the basement from what I assumed would be the inevitable backflow from my neighborhood’s shit storm drain system into my basement, but none of these things happened and I dropped my ice cream in the rain; true story.
• I favor run-on sentences because fuck Hemingway is why.
• I recently found a Maltipoo eating garbage in the alley, captured him using the allure of a taco de lengua, and have now claimed him as mine, naming him Oliver,  bringing the total number of dogs in my collection to 2 including my American Eskimo, Loki.
• I do not enjoy being in stripclubs at all, because paying for blue balls is stupid (which is not to say that I condone any full release activities involving the exchange of cash or barter);  also, both of my big strip club experiences have involved me being so drunk that I made a complete ass of myself such as in Las Vegas where I attempted to put a cocktail napkin between stripper boobs, thinking it was actually US currency and prior to that  in Champaign, Il where I had balance issues that almost killed a stripper who sat on my spindly table and thought it wise to put her legs over my shoulder causing me to fall off my stool in surprise and nearly knock the table over- things did not get any better as the evening progressed as I was accosted by a very sketchy dancer while coming out of the bathroom and forcibly given a lap dance that somehow ended in my neck being bruised, which my roommates had paid for so that she would leave them alone.
• Chuck Norris has recently lobbied to have the period table removed from classrooms, as the only element he believes in is surprise.
• Owning something like 1/3 of the Criterion collection, I am a total, unapologetic, rat-bastard of a film snob as evidenced by my belief that Christopher Nolan is the Ringo Star of film if you can wrap your heads around what I am getting at there; or is he the Yoko Ono?
• I got the latest Naked and Famous Cd in the mail today and have to admit that I’m enjoying the shit out of it but don’t understand the constant comparisons they get to passion bit, because passion pit is the suck and that yes, I do swear this much in real life.

This is where I’m supposed to nominate 10 other blogs.  I won’t do that many, though, because I think the entire blogosphere has been nominated.  I also have no intention of e-mailing these guys.  If they’re not reading this blog regularly anymore and don’t notice they’ve been nominated, they can blow their fake award straight out their asses.

• When Cannons Fade- This site’s run by my good friend Hoagy.  He is an ace painter, writer of fan fiction, sings in our band, and has the finest collection of Bolt Thrower T-shirts ever seen.
• Black Jack and Hookers- from Chumbalaya is getting nominated because the has the style required to not update his blog for 6 weeks.  It’s kind of like the new fashionably late.
• Shit My Students Write- don’t know this guy, has nothing to do with wargamming, and am not sure if Tumblr really counts as a blog, but this shit is hilarious.   Or is it really sad?

4 Responses to “The Bloggers of Blogging: Putting some swagger in the stylish blogger awards: the art of obnoxiously long titles!.”

1. Frank E Smith says:

   May 12, 2011 at 2:14 pm

   I love it all. I can’t wait to meet little Oliver, my first dog was an Oliver. I once had a stripper squirt breastmilk on my face, and another time I saw a dude pass the fuck out because of a stripper.

   Reply
2. Alex says:

   May 12, 2011 at 3:27 pm

   How about Cormac McCarty for run on sentences. Blood Meridian is hard to read when you’re half drunk.

   Reply
3. Hoagy says:

   May 13, 2011 at 2:42 pm

   I am flattered, Mr. D, truly I am. I don’t think I can bow low enough at your kind words.

   I laughed hard at your list, sorry to hear about the ice cream mate

   I’m glad I was the only person with the sense to actually stay at the hotel and get some sleep (after watching an X-Files marathon on TV). So I don’t have any funny stripper stories, but thats what i’ve got you for

   Reply
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