Obama 2012

Now that I have your attention, BoLS just opened up the Blood Angels painting challenge on their site.  Lauby has an entry that is currently trending pretty well in the polls with his Baal Predator (look left [then look right then look left again; it's now safe to cross the street]).  Make sure you head over there and vote for him.  His Baals are always smooth.  But seriously, the paintjob on his entry makes me feel bad about my own meagre abilities.  Compare your life to his and kill yourself.

The entry is under his real name, John Laubersheimer.  Now whether you remeber that as John Lubricator or Lauberbommer or Lauberscheimer or Labrador or Rock Laubster doesn’t really matter.  Just remember that his name is the longest one in the poll.

Good Luck Lauby.

The above image was taken by and from John L.  or J. Laubersheimer and used without permission.  If he has a problem with me promoting his work, he can fuck off.

Goatboy on balancing your army

*so I will hold off on taking out my entire marketing project group, saving 1 bullet for myself … for now.

…and the leafblower you rode in on!

So I’ll let you all in on a little secret: in spite of having a high speed Internet connection since 1999, I’ve never really had the opportunity to spend too much time on the Internet.
Due to a 60-70 hour work schedule, it was only recently, when I went to a 0 hour work schedule and part time school, that I’ve had ample time to dick around with the Intertubes. As such, I’ve come to the party late on just about everything from various memes to competitive gaming sites. You may have noticed that I just kind of materialized out of thin air at some point last summer and became a semi active member of the 40k community online. That’s just about how it happened. As I’ve wondered before, I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing. But, my point is that I lived in a bubble for a long time. I played my own brand of 40k with like minded, and no less busy, friends whenever we could grab people away from jobs and families long enough for a game. Even when I was oblivious to sound tactics and competitive list building, do you know what army I wanted to play? Fucking mechanized Imperial Guard…even before it was viewed as any good.

Let’s rewind a little shall we. I started playing a little during 2nd edition. I really wanted to play IG back then, because tanks are kick ass. Unfortunately, while kick ass, they are also quite expensive. Needless to say that didn’t work out on my teenage budget and I settled on Eldar and built some hodgepodge army that probably didn’t make any sense. I carried these over briefly into 3rd edition, but ultimately threw in the towel on gaming altogether when I got wrapped up in college and moved away from my friends. Then 4-5 years ago I was visiting my pal John, who was in my original gaming group, and saw some Warmachine minis and books at his place and was bit by the bug again. To stop from rambling, I played Warmachine for a while and suckered a few friends into Chicago to joining with me, though we ultimately got sucked back into 40k as it’s just a much better system.

This brings me to 4th edition 40k, pretty close to the end of it’s cycle. I think I only got in about a dozen games after I had gotten all my stuff assembled and mostly painted before 5th edition rolled out. Being a working adult this time around, I had the resources to do it right this time (barring a misstep with Dark Angels), so I immediately scooped up as many IG tanks and vehicles as I could- now counting super heavies and such I believe I have around 12,000 points of guard, not counting a 2,000 point Elysian airborne force in progress. So even in 4th edition, where vehicles didn’t have a god-like status, I played them, because that’s what I enjoy- big ass tanks. When 5th edition came out I stuck with my guard, even with a codex that really put the hurt on some of my dreams. I was saddened by some of the changes to defensive weapons and ordnance. It wasn’t possible to move my Russes and still shoot a battle cannon and 3 heavy bolters any more. Sad times.

Then the 5th edition codex is released and I can finally play the army I wanted- fully mechanised IG. As an added bonus I would later find out through playing friends that this was a very tough build to deal with. Later on when I began to check out sites like Yes The Truth Hurts periodically (but not BoLS, oddly enough…), I began to tweak and streamline my lists, while still keeping them my own. I’ve now got it whittled down to something vaguely similar to the so called “leafblower.”

What does all of that have to do with anything? Well, when people like Darkwynn post something like this on BoLS I get a little fucking mad. First things first, how big does your god damn ego have to be to write something like that in the first place? -Dethtron, imma let you finish, but Darkwynn is the greatest player of all time- Humble he certainly is not. He’s basically trying to say that he invented mech guard and that everyone is copying him, making him alone responsible for “ruining 40k.” Second, you’re completely shitting on people like me who are simply playing the style of IG that we’ve always wanted to, but never been able to, due to older rules sets.

There are lots of things that I don’t even like about the Darkwynn version of Mech IG. The name “leafblower” is just plain stupid. What it’s supposed to blow your opponent off the table on the first turn? Well, while you’re busy blowing your opponents, I’ll worry about other things, like players that are smart enough to play the reserve game against me. Just in case the name wasn’t mind-bogglingly dumb enough, he has plasma in his list. Take that shit back to 2006 and bury it please. When you come back to our time, get yourself some meltas and step into the world of 5th edition.

I’d also like to point out that assuming that this, or any list, is unbeatable is further evidence of a “sky is falling” mentality prevalent among a good chunk of the gaming community these days. A good player with a good list will usually beat a bad player with a good list. So dear gamers, don’t just focus on your list, focus on not playing a shitty, sloppy game. Your list is only half of the equation.

He goes on to even attack fellow guard players by saying that we have to have a “super inflated ego” to continue to play these lists. Since when is playing a competitive build or list that you’re passionate about automatically connected to you ego? I don’t like crushing defeats. That’s not fun for anybody. I have the most fun on those occasions that I’ve paid for the whole seat but only used the edge. Close games are awesome. This is just another example of the BoLS staff and most of the rest of the world not being able to separate the WAAC gamer from the competitive player. I’m slowly evolving into a better player and getting a little bit of a competitive itch, but don’t consider myself a competitive player. I just like a good game, with tough builds and tough opponents.

People like Darkwynn would probably look at my list and say ‘durr you’re just copying my leafblower list, because you are a megalomaniac who is focused entirely on winning.’ To which I would reply ‘go fuck yourself, I came up with this list a long time ago and well before I had heard anything about this “leafblower” bullshit that you keep talking about.’ I’m not trying to say that I started this list, but simply trying to show that assuming everyone is copying you is just plain egotistical and wrong. I would bet that a lot of people had similar ideas at around the time the new codex came out.

But what about the fluff- you’re just spamming chimera chassis? Fuck that. I’m getting sick of people claiming that fluff has to involve taking a shit army. Especially since that’s about as far from fluffy as you can get. Real military forces build redundancy and versatility into their forces. Giving everyone a transport and not having an army that relies solely on one unit to achieve victory is perfectly fluffly.

So basically what Darkwynn is saying to players, like me, is that our opinions are wrong. The ideas that I have for the way I enjoy playing aren’t correct, because they happen to be competitive. It’s clearly not OK to want to win a competitive game or event or against friends in the basement or at the store. Well fuck you and the leafblower you rode in on buddy.

You’re a Veteran all right…of pissing me off

+++warning, serious amounts of caps lock ahead. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED*+++

WTFUCK man, BoLS has let Mr. Footdar himself, Reece “I’m undefeated” Robbins, write for them AGAIN. Just get it over with and make him a permanent fixture of your site so I can stop reading it and move on with my life.

First go read this PILE OF SHIT if you haven’t already done so. Then come back. I’ll be waiting**.

Well that was painful. Reading that was about as much fun as sticking my dick into a nest full of angry hornets***.

Let’s start at the beginning shall we. I’ve always found that to be a good place to start. Reece, your title has NOTHING to do with your article. Thank you for giving it the title that you did, though, it gave me a lot to go on in titling my own post.

God, I hope his introduction is better than his title. When I first learned about expository writing, I was told that your introduction should set up the key points you wish to make about your chosen topic (the topic usually being at least mentioned in the title)****. How does Recce’s article start? By stating that he’s a veteran of course. That’s good, it syncs up nicely with his title. Now I’m sure that this article will have a point and be about why I should care that he is a self proclaimed veteran. Too bad that he offers nothing to further develop this declaration of extreme hubris. Instead he launches into his thoughts on adepticon and fails to explain why his “veteran” status has anything to do with that.

Also, while we’re discussing the stylistics of expository writing, I feel honor bound to point out that a paragraph should generally consist of three or more sentences.

Reece, I’m afraid you’re a little late to the Adepticon party. I stopped caring about what people had to say about the event about two days after it happened. Unless you’ve got lists or batreps that I haven’t seen yet, I don’t give two shits about what you’ve got to say. I’ve moved on to not caring about future events, like BoLScon. Here’s every description that you’ll find on this subject in two sentences: ‘I’ve gone to lots of gaming events and found that adepticon was one of them. It was a very well run affair where I got to meet lots of people, participate in a several gaming events, and eat overpriced, stale nachos.’ Thanks gaming community! Way to add value to my life. I am a little pissed that I didn’t go there myself, but finances were looking a little grim at the time If only I’d known about the unholy magnitude of my tax return back then*****. I would have enjoyed going to play some games, have them filmed, get accused of cheating, get forced to wear a scarlet C on my chest, eat stale nachos, and spend money on gaming shit I don’t need. Well maybe next year… maybe.

Reece goes on to pontificate on such important and insightful matters as- ‘I enjoyed my hotel. It was fairly price and I could sleep there.’ He also says that even though he missed the sign up deadline for the tournament he doesn’t regret spending all the time and money to get there from California. Well bully for you and your ability to frivolously spend disposable income. In his defense though, he has a problem that I’ve got- a scattered gaming group. By attending Adepticon he was able to reconnect with some of them, which is nice. Almost makes my black heart turn all warm and fuzzy, with thoughts of the copious bro hugs and respeck knuckles being cast about.

To conclude his article about being a veteran- that is really just a report about his experiences at Adepticon- he writes about using his footdar in a friendly game- THAT HE FUCKING LOST. To a fucking DUAL LASH LIST, which hasn’t been competitive since 2008ish. Let’s see what the Omnipotent Mr. Robbins had to say about how he would fair against the lash a month ago:

Looks like he cracked when put under the lash (I couldn’t resist). So in addition to disproving that you are undefeated, as you claimed while waving your dick around here, you also show that you got your ass handed to you by a marginal list that you theorized you’d have no problem with. Well met, good sir. Well I hope you at least learned something about why foot Eldar is a bad idea. Oh, you just blame your dice, nice. I’ll be sure to check that off your sportsmanship scores then

Lash gets shut down by Eldrad, and isn’t that big of a deal anyway when I
play it.

=================================================
*I said that last part loud so you know I’m for serious.
**Although I may go heat up some lunch, there is the left over Dum Aloo that I made last night to be had, after all- mmmmmm curry. Just YELL if I’m not back yet.
***Full disclosure: I have never done this. I will never make false claims about my accomplishments, unlike a certain editorial writer that may or may not be the subject of this post. Aww hell, why be coy about it, he is the subject.
****If remember way back, I think a hamburger was used as an analogy-USA USA USA. the buns are your intro and conclusion while the patty and fixins are the body of your work that are hinted at in the buns.
*****I don’t want to brag about this, but it seriously helps me out. Most of you are aware that I don’t have a job, after all. But getting a tax return that is over 3x bigger than expected is awesome. I can now pay my mortgage for another 7 months, with or without employment, although I am thinking about cashing it out for loose change and turning my guest bedroom into a Scrooge McDuck money pool.

How BoLS Didn’t Get its Game Back

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