Dick Move Turns 1-year Old

Well it’s official, Dick Move has made it to the one year mark without forcing your loving author over the brink into the murky murky realms of sanity.  I think there’s a Nietzsche quote for the occasion, but I don’t really feel like grabbing my copy of Die Geburt der Tragödie to find it- and why the hell would I want to be all high-brow anyway, when I could just say “fuck “a lot? (more…)

Ultramarines the Movie Review- Trolled by GW

I have not now seen nor likely even have the intention of seeing the Ultramarines movie, contrary to what the title of this post might imply.  Not really much to say about it as far as I’m concerned; I just don’t have the desire to listen to decent actors phoning in their parts over sub-video game cut scene quality animation and what is bound to be the most hackneyed fanboy wet-dream of a script that Mr. Abnett (who I normally I quite fond of) could write.  So what’s up with the post title?  well it’s sort of an experiment if you will- because it seems that GW may now be employing self-aware spambots bent on destroying the world.  Ok, that’s maybe a bit of an exaggeration, but it looks like they are undertaking a very sketchy marketing campaign.  (more…)

Mech Blood Angels V. Mechdar playtest

Yo yo yo follow this link to a battle report for my proposed blood angels blitzkrieg list.  While you’re there, feel free to check out the newly retooled Chamber Militant forum.  It is a top notch, general purpose forum run by a good friend of mine, Hoagy.  You may want to consider joining, as we are looking for new members and you are looking for a place that is guaranteed to be 75% retardation free or better.  Join us.  You know you want to. Why the fuck am I still awake?

The day I lost all interest in Planetstrike

I’ve already gone on record railing against GW’s constant stream of shit rules supplements over the last few years. This is a case of trying to do too much too quickly. While I was pretending to study for marketing earlier (50 questions 15 minutes, first one done, and already graded= 96%…) I got hooked in by a BoLS article about combos used to defeat guard. Now, this article is pretty bland and leads to list tailoring (read: cheating), but I decided to throw in my two cents and throw a combo* of my own into the ring. I decided to make it a more generalist combo, though, that will work against anybody. Way to be on topic, self.

Said combo is completely mean and unnecessary and I’m glad that the friend I pulled it on didn’t punch me in the face. This is yet another reason that I enjoy playing against friends rather than random kids at the FLGS. My buddies tend to have a better sense of humor about shenanigans. Now, you’re going to read the following and think, wow Dethtron, you are totally trying to pwn noobs, this won’t work against veteran players. Well, you’re wrong, and I’ll tell you why after the break.

Here’s the thread:

Dethtron- For planetstrike Pair a DH Inquisitor w/ 2x mystics w/ anything when you are defender and watch your opponent cry.

The last, and probably last ever, time I played planet strike I placed my inquisitor right next to an executioner squadron when playing against CSM. I also used a terrain setup and strategems that all but forced my opponent to DS within 9-12″ of my combo and watched the incoming marines melt.

spiderglow- Hi, can you explain me how does this combo works?. Do you use auspex? I run witchhunters and would like to check if I can use this combo.

Dethtron- my original reply seems to have disappeared into the aether, so here’s another one:

This combo won’t work with WH, as the mystics are the key. Here’s what you need to make this mean:
-set up your objectives/bastions all on a short edge of the board. Line both long edges with impassible terrain that would stop transports, footsloggers and other vehicles from coming on close to you.
-clutter the midfield with with terrain to prohibit midfield deepstrikes
-leave a sweet zone 9-12″ away from your inquisitor where opponent can deepstrike . leave another zone on the opposite short board edge, where your opponent may deep strike or come on normally.
-load up on barrage weapons/long range firepower

when you have the mystics w/ inqisitor, he can tell any unit within 12″ of him to fire at an enemy who deepstrikes within 4d6″ of him (expected value is 14″). if he happens to be standing by a pair of leman russ executioners, your enemy will have to eat 10 plasma cannon shots EVERY time he deepstrikes near you. If he doesn’t deep strike, he has to slog across the field the whole game and through a “bog of terrain” that you have created in the midfield. He must either deep strike into his certain doom or be forced to run across the whole field, getting shot to pieces by your abundant long range fire the entire game.

This can be pulled off in non-guard allied forces as well, just plop anything heavy hitting (from devastators to typhoon speeder squadrons to exorcists) by the inquisitor and watch the bodies fly.

Remember when I said this isn’t just about pwning N00bs with an obvious trick? Here’s why- nobody is going to fall for the deepstrike trick more than once, unless they are dumb as shit. They are, however, completely fucked whether or not they deepstrike, because deploying all the wy across the board is a shitty option as well. So the combo isn’t really the important thing, the threat of the combo is, and by giving your opponent the choice of a shit situation or a shittier one, you’ve pulled quite the dick move.

….and that was the day that I lost interest in Planetstrike. After a handful of games (and almost $300 in new terrain), it became the least fun thing in the universe to play. This is so ridiculously geared towards defending that I don’t enjoy attacking or defending. That firestorm shit, doesn’t make up for all he free cover you an weapons get along with the ability to tailor the board to your own sadistic whim as a defender. Hint for surviving the firestorm- if you’re guard take trenches and go to ground the first turn. You get a ridiculous cover save for all your models and your officers can order everybody back into the fight for the beginning of the game. Last time I played, I lost 1 fucking guardsman with a lasgun to the opening barrage.

I really wanted to enjoy Planetstrike, but it just fell short of all of my expectations. Fluff is fun, but not when it involves ass-raping 1 player every time you play. That’s not what I call fun.

Full disclosure, I wound up fucking up my terrain placement when I pulled this and there was a tiny sliver left on a long board edge where my opponent was able to deploy, losing me a manticore for my efforts. I still won, though. It just wasn’t the bloodbath it should have been. The combo is still sound, however.

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*those that know me know of my love for combos, especially the pizza flavored ones.