‘They’re all a bit pale...’ whispered Twister Pine-Cone, nervously watching their opponents from across the half-way line.

‘Hark at her!’ crowed “Thoroughly Dubious” Duran from the sideline. ‘You need a bit of sun yourself, love!’ he sneered , still gripping his pom-poms in his broken fingers. He cast a withering glance at Wynona as she cartwheeled her way down the edge of the pitch. The cheerleader had the crowd on their feet, jeering and slavering in equal measure. Duran shook his head, ‘And you can watch your step an’all, yer dozy tart.’

‘GROUGH-RAAAAAR-GRRRRRRR!’ agreed Girth. But Girth was a tree and didn’t really understand what was going on.

Maybe it was the blizzard which swirled around in the roaring gale, but their opponents did look a bit pale, and Twister couldn’t help but find it a little unsettling, the funny spots which were dotted around the white pitch, deep red, turning pink as they spread...

‘I think they may be vampires,’ he continued, but Glorfindel was only half-listening, concentrating more on when to plant the ball.

‘Of course they’re bloody vampires! Now watch this!’

“Go Long” Glorfindel fired the ball down the pitch and it was lost in a curtain of snow before it even touched down.

The referee’s whistle blew the start of the match and, without him being aware of it, Twister Pine-Cone’s hand was nervously rubbing his neck...

By the end, the Hackers had to agree that it was a good game – a much-needed good game – after a rather uninspired start to the season. It was close, sometimes too close, but victory came finally without anybody getting killed, or worse, resurrected.

The Hackers would like to thank the Frati de Sange team for a great game and complement them on the spirit they showed throughout the match. (And if they could please return our cheerleader to us when they’ve finished with her, it would be much appreciated...)