Yes - that is a play on Primal Therapy - as I've about reached my wits' end trying to find a white primer that I'm happy with.  I've tried several brands, and none seem to be working out.  Which leads me to believe that with only one common denominator, I'm probably at least a part of the problem. Frustratingly, I'm hardly a beginner at painting; or more accurately, I'm hardly a beginner at priming with roughly 80% of my models being primed (and nothing else /snicker).   I have no problems with black primer, using alternately, GW, Krylon, and Tamiya - and had flawless results with each.  No pooling, smooth finish, etc...   I only have those issues with white. I've tried GW, Tamiya, Krylon, RustOleum, and about four others I've thrown out and don't remember.  I've read forums and blogs and more forums and a few more blogs without really finding a solid answer - clearly what works for us as painters is our personal preferences.  In this case, my preference is for a primer that doesn't pool in recesses, doesn't craze on flat areas, and doesn't pebble on raised areas.  Every single primer I've tried does at least one of these.  Adding to the fun is all white primer is not the same color white, making color matching rough at best.  Alright - enough ranting.  Let's talk symptoms of this disease I'm calling primer rage.

Here's my typical priming MO:  I typically wash whatever I'm priming with dishsoap/water and let it dry for at least a couple days, often a week or more.  I spray in a 2-car garage with the garage door open for ventilation, on flattened cardboard or laid-out newspaper.  Shake the can for whatever the label says (1 minute or more typically), then spray in short, controlled bursts starting almost off-model, going across the model, and stopping at the edge of/just outside the spray zone; repeat.  Depending again on the label, I spray between 6-8" and 10-12" away from the models.  I almost always prime multiple models (hello, Tyranid player) at once, keeping them ~4" apart.

The pic at the top of the article is my most recent attempt at the long hoped-for but never-delivered Mycetic Spore wannabe above.  Note the pooling, crazing, and spotty coverage; clearly it isn't done, but after noting the pooling and crazing, I stopped.  It's a tough item to prime, composed of very slick, almost oily, plastic - this is my second attempt - the first was with Krylon, which covered adequately with only a little pooling, but flaked off from very light handling.   Stripped it with Simple Green, and prep washed it very well, ran some fine grain sandpaper over it, and tried a special fine coverage primer (Zinsser BIN Ultimate Stain Blocker) intended to "block water, fire, and smoke stains, sap streaks, and greasy spots, and ideal for 'hard to paint objects' like arts and crafts, wicker, porous wood, spackled areas etc..."  The results as you can see, are less than spectacular.  The frustrating bit is I was priming an old resin Armorcast Exocrine - and it came out the same way: very heavy pooling in flat/depressions, and either no coverage at all in fine detail areas, or it buried them under a pool or very thick layer.  Which makes me believe it isn't the texture/material or material.  I let the paint dry and dumped it right into my Simple Green vat where it soaks as I type this.

Honestly debating switching to a light grey primer - but with the bulk of my tyranid 'core' elements painted with a white base, the color value of new units will be noticeably darker.  Plus the white base lets me do things with blended acrylics that take multiple layers to achieve on a dark primer.  At any rate - if you have any thoughts, ideas, or been able to successfully paint Plasma Hatchers - please drop me a line or two below.  Thanks!