Greetings ladies, gentlemen and Fuzz, this is your glorious anatidine leader, Master Ufllbcan M. Bryss, PhD, DPhil LLB BDSM YMCA (Hons). Otherwise known as aspiring law student and stand-up comedian *********. That's all one word.

Now, this may amount to nothing, this is purely recon work, but I wish to raise an idea with you all. A few months ago, I found the forum game known as Zoofights, a bloody awesome concept in which genetically surgeoneered animals (usually a hybrid abomination with weapons and big muscly arms) fight each other to the death, with the victor being calculated by putting audience votes into some kind of equation or other and doing hard stuff and finding out who won. The battle is then consequently written up.

Oh, and did I mention the competitors are then modified EVEN MORE after each round so that the finalists barely resemble their original incarnation? Now, I looked at this and wondered "Why on earth wouldn't this work in 40k? Jump.



After all, an actual 40k Ork appeared in Zoofights II, although for unrelated reasons no-one talks about that, and the modifications thing can be done by means of new wargear and the Chaos Boon Table." And so, the proposition. An Arena of Death-styley 8-man tournament in which 2 competitors slug it out, with audience votes giving one side a number of re-rolls. For funsies only, of course. Set in Commorragh, of course.

Of course, for this I'm going to require competitors. And although I have a number of suitable models, I'd also like to make some original characters. The actual proposed lineup so far is:

  • Scrappa Smiff, an Ork Warboss with a penchant for boxing.
  • Name TBA, a Necron Overlord whose Tomb World somehow got merged into the Dark City, leaving him delusional.
  • Olliver and Company, an Imperial Guard Command Squad.
  • Name TBA, a Lone Wolf who would honestly like to die in a blaze of glory but the Haemonculi simply won't let him. Profile of a Wolf Lord, but in fluff a Lone Wolf.
  • Name TBA, a crazy-prepared Eldar Autarch with veins of Batman.
  • The Mysterious Cloaked Figure (there's always one of these). That is all I will say.
  • The Thing In The Big Box Marked 'Do Not Open', a Tyranid.
  • Name Withheld, a Dark Eldar Archon covered in bandages for no apparent reason.

At the minute, I can supply Olliver and Co., The Mysterious Cloaked Figure and Name Withheld, and can attempt to build The Thing In The Big Box Marked 'Do Not Open.' Which leaves the other four.
  • My plan for Scrappa Smiff is to use the Fantasy Savage Orc Big Boss as a base, with new arms and those stupid extra Forgefiend bitz as part of the gloves. This means I have an excuse to convert a plastic Fantasy character. Yay! The new Chaos Lord is rubbish and too expensive, though.
  • Name TBA will be bulked up from a Warrior base or something. He'll end up with clogs, but it's a small price to pay.
  • I'm gonna have to buy an Autarch.
  • And build the Wolf Lord from bought bitz.
This will be fun. And hopefully a damned sight less expensive than a new army.