This time I'm running hot with my Pre-Heresy style all purple Emperor's Children with another battle report. If you're keeping score at home, this is number two for us here.
You can find my previous showdown against the Blood Angels for who has the prettiest nipple armor here.
Now, last time we did this, I played 2,000 points and didn't manage to photograph the battlefield. I decided for this report, I was going to make a few improvements- First among them was that I was actually going to shoot the turn by turn with my iphone. That worked out alright, but the plate glass window and all the daylight coming in didn't agree with me in some of the shots and made some of my opponent's models look like Moby Dick in their stylish white primer. Whatever, beggars can't be choosers. The other thing I wanted to fix was the format- I inched down to 1850 because I wanted to have a more relevant battle in what seems to be one of the favorite tournament limits.
Return of the Purple People Eaters- The Tau Empire strikes back!
Alright, let's get into it. It's Saturday afternoon in the San Pedro GW, and we're on a typical GW Realm of Battle table with a some ruins down the middle and some defense lines and forests on the hill crests. Veterans of the now downsized LA Battle Bunker (RIP) will recognize this table as one of their own, as Pedro inherited it. For those of you who are so-cal beach cities players like me, take note- I've been to both Westminster (post Bunker) GW and Pedro GW, and Pedro has the better tables with more playable terrain. Sean the manager did a pretty good job of cherry-picking good area terrain, and my personal friend "Mad" Mike donated a gorgeous custom built lava theme table. Play here.
She don't look to pretty, but she works. I'm a big fan of ruins with bases on them for nice, clean, area terrain. This picture is taken from the Tau angle. They rolled up first choice of deployment, and went here. I would end up on the opposite end, in traditional long edges Hammer and Anvil. The mission would be Emperor Whatever, or as I like to call it, "Capture the Flag" with 1 objective in each deployment zone.
But we're getting ahead of ourselves...Let's talk about armies.
The Tau
"Softcap" As we'll call my opponent because he wears one of those german army style softcaps, is bringing a pretty heavy metal gunline tau list. His HQ is a commander with the mega punch gauntlet and 2 buddies, and Shadowsun. He's got 2 fire warrior teams, a pathfinder team, a fat team of railsides with lots of little frisbees, and a railhead. His pride and joy is... Wait for it... 2 ion riptides. Somewhere in those 2 giant gundams, the better part of 1850 is hiding.
Demon Prince and the Revolution
Now naturally, because I'm writing the bat rep, I actually have my whole list. I went for a deviation of my normal approach, which is normally heavy on dinobots, as I'm in love with the maulerfiend. This time though, I went with a bold new strategy- "Only what was in my toolbox." I magnetize all my models' bases, so the whole army fits in a stamped metal husky toolbox, and I decided today I was only going to use what was in my METAL BAWKSES. This means that there would be none of the typical chaos marine spam- No dinobots of any kind, no flying hell turkey, and no heavy armor.
Oh, except of course for spawn. There will be tons of spawn spam. Count on that. I had also recently finished converting up a Doomrider, as every proper Slaaneshi CSM player should have, so I was eager to give Doomie his inaugural run, and fit him in.
1850
HQ
chaos lord- lightning claw, skallywag, MoS, steed, sigil.
doomrider- bike, sigil, MoS, murder sword.
TROOPS
ten marines, 2 melta, MoS, icon, power sword.
ten marines, 2 flamers, MoS, icon, power sword.
20 marine brick, 2 plasma, MoS, icon, power sword.
rhino, havoc, dirge caster.
FAST
four spawn
four spawn
FORT
aegis line, comm relay
demon allies
demon prince. wings, armor, MoS, greater reward, lesser reward.
10 demonettes.
Annnnd.... There we have it, just 2 points over. Probably won't work out in a tournament game, but what's 2 points between friends? Well, after this game, I won't be his friend. Count on that.
The list is a 3 way balance between my most sacred and favorite things- Running forward and punching the hell out of everything, Being able to fit it all in the car without juggling any gigantic awkward models, and Slaaneshi fluff. Everything is either marked purple or not marked at all. Those are the rules.
Here Comes the Pain
Let's get to it. Softcap won the roll off for deploy/go first and took the side you can see in the picture presented above. His pathfinder team deployed behind the defense lines on the hill, and the Railhead parked behind them in the forest. Over on his mid-right, fire warrior team White Primer deployed in the cover of the sandbagged chimera, and fire warrior team Aqua deployed right of them, on top of his objective, which was sitting near the table edge. On his far right flank he placed his Railside team and their frisbee friends, and anchored his left flank with one of his ion sides. He put his Onager gauntlet commander in reserve, and Shadowsun declared she would infiltrate, and take her big friend riptide number 2 with her.
Deploying second, I put my fat brick of 20 marines and their objective in a nice cozy little aegis line picnic with my objective in the middle of my deployment zone. The "babysitters" as this legion tactical squad is referred to, would have the all important job of sitting around watching the objective all day, and manning my comm relay.
I then dumped everything on my right flank in front of his railhead and riptide to go for a huge sweeping right hook. There was one thing I didn't want to deal with, and that was a butt load of pulse rifles. I would happily risk scattering templates from the riptides and hammerhead, but there was no way I was going to throw everything right down the middle where he could rapid fire it to death.
Team Right Hook consisted of Doomrider, both spawn spam packs, the rhino full of melta marines, and my demon prince behind the ruin out of sight, waiting to swoop.
My flamer marines went into reserve attached to my skallywag steed lord to benefit from outflank, and the demonettes went in reserve as well.
It was time to deploy infiltrators, and Shadowsun showed up with Ion tide 2 and they went behind a ruin on the midline of the table on his left flank. My right hook alpha strike was now staring down a railhead, pathfinders, Shadowsun, and her 2 best friends, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum the gundams.
I opened a brand new brick of purple dice that I had bought to match my army that I had never played with yet, rolled to seize the initiative, and of course, you already know because they were new and untrained dice, I failed to seize. It was time to see how much these communist fish heads could punish me before I jumped on him.
table at deployment. You can see right hook spawn parade and the demon princess using the rhino for cover, and the infiltrated riptide and shadowsun behind the right ruin.
TURN 1
Naturally, Softcap's first order of business was to shine lasers in the eyes of all my spawn, dumping markerlights on them from the jerkfinders. He managed to collect about 4 zappy tokens, and then proceeded to set up his ion tides. The fire warriors more or less just fidgeted around over in their chimera wreck, and the broadsides waited.
Shooting was largely uneventful, but punctuated with some important failures and convenient hits. The first riptide pie plate deviated left, hurt a spawn, and clipped my rhino, immobilizing it. Naturally, that was a huge bummer for me because that rhino was supposed to flat out on turn 1 and dirge caster the tau army. Now I would actually get shot at when I charged them, so unfair! This would end up being some of the most significant shooting in the game. Riptide pie plate two swerved off in the other direction, clipped a couple spawn, and hit Doomrider. Owing to my amazing new dice, Doomie promptly failed his 2+ lookout sir from the spawn standing right next to him, then proceeded to fail his 4+ invulnerable, taking a wound. Thankfully, his T5 bike saved him from being splattered across the table, and he would live to ruin Softcap's life in another turn. There was some further ineffective shooting from the broadsides and the railhead, who all dumped high strength shots but didn't manage to make a lot of it work. The pathfinders had put all the markerlights into the spawn to little result from the riptides, and now they were back to taking cover saves.
Rippy and Shadowsun hit their jets to get the hell out of dodge, and promptly rolled poorly. This would naturally give me a huge opportunity to hurt them. Hurt them so good.
It was now bottom of turn 1, and my turn. My dirgecaster was immobilized, so I was going to have to assault him the hard way, but I wasn't terribly worried about it. Shadowsun and Rippy were massively out of position thanks to their horrible assault jump, and the world was my oyster.
As was tradition with the babysitter squad on the objective, they sat around and did nothing. Good work, boys. The marines inside the rhino got out, shrugged, and hopped into the ruin to go sit on a cover save.
Now it was time for serious business. The Laziest Demon Princess (she has a reputation for only rolling as well as is absolutely necessary to do her job) swooped forward and hauled ass a mighty bajillion inches. In the shooting phase, I ran her with a fleet slaaneshi reroll and she busted out another ten or so inches. She was already behind the line and staring down a lot of tasty blueberries... Who unfortunately were going to shoot the hell out of her, but more on that later.
Doomrider and the spawn spam patrol rocketed forward 12 inches off the line and proceeded to make Softcap physically ill. It was time to shoot some people. I did the only thing I could do with my rhino, which was fire the havoc launcher into the pack of jerkfinders, in hopes of knocking out some flashlights. Thanks to twinlinking and BS 4, the hit was near perfect, however the tau cover save managed to save any of the little camel toes from getting hurt. Rats.
Oh well, no big deal. It was time for what is still even in 6th ed my favorite phase of the game, the assault phase.
Thanks to Rippy and Shadowsun's atrocious luck on their coward jump, and their way too far forward position, my double pack of spawn was dangerously capable of making a charge. And hey, they're fleet... So 8 inches later, they did.
Overwatch fire was conducted by both riptides, with markering from the pathfinders. Shadowsun behind the riptide was unable to contribute anything with her dainty little fusion guns, and the riptides were unable to abuse the greatest potential of their guns. Spawn wave 1 got in largely unscathed, wounded by a smattering of overwatch fire, but fearless and ready to rock.
The next order of business was Doomrider and friends. Only an inch behind wave 1, and free and clear with no overwatch in sight, it was a risk well worth taking. I pre-measured from the last charge, which needed and succeeded 8 thanks to the fleet reroll. Doomie and friends would have to make a 9, and then they'd get into the party. Did I mention Shadowsun was his murder sword target?
Like the pro that he is, Doomie hit the 9. He managed to get his fat bike base into contact with one of the riptide frisbies, and the spawn followed him in. They couldn't base anything themselves, but they were with Doomie when he made it, and one is all you need.
The combat was uneventful. I didn't get poison on either spawn units, so wounding the riptide was an uphill battle. Doomrider asked Shadowsun out on a date so she could get to know his murder sword, but like a proper little tau coward, Shadowsun declined. I killed a frisbee, a spawn got punched, and then nothing happened. I was fearless... Nobody was going anywhere. You're in trouble now Shadowsun, you should have never infiltrated that riptide into my turn 1 charge.
turn 1-2 positions. The spawn have tied up right rippy and shadowsun, but aren't making progress. LDP is flying in open space, hoping nobody shoots her out of the sky on the tau turn... Yea, that's gonna happen. Just wait.
TURN 2
Now, I know all you tau players are already pretty well bummed out and its only turn 2. I've got Softcap's warlord and his riptide tied up in a combat he can't possibly win, (any tau turn spent punching instead of shooting is a bad tau turn) my demon prince is flying halfway up his ass, and all his pulse rifles are pretty much on the other side of nowhere. Its going to be one of those games.
However, Softcap is still in a pretty good spot to hurt me. Laziest Demon Princess is unengaged and in the open after a leisurely flight, and hey... He's got nothing else to shoot! After fidgeting around a bit as a tau is like to do, and discovering a forest full of razorwing nests with his hammerhead (which he didn't even spook, boo!) He promptly decided to dump EVERYTHING on that demon prince. The jerkfinders tried to hit 6s on their flashlights, and got a few in. After that, the broadsides started shooting down the long edge of the table and the hammerhead and the unengaged riptide joined in. A mighty attempt was made to end her life.
And oh man, did it get close. The S10 rail that would have ended her didn't make it in, but all the missiles, lasers, and kitchen sinks thrown by every other camel-footed blueberry nearly got her there. She would have died too, but this demon princess was an ally from Chaos demons, and had her own perks- For her greater reward, she rolled up 4+ FNP, and when the smoke cleared, she was grounded, eating dirt, but alive with 1 wound. The tau were massively unfortunate... Had she failed the grounding test earlier, they could have been shooting at natural BS and ended her. But as luck would have it, she didn't make her graceful face plant into the dirt until Softcap had nothing left but a handful of out of range pulse rifles, and the Laziest Demon Princess picked herself up, broken but unbowed. Thank you, toughness 5 and 4+ FNP, thank you Slaanesh, and thank you jealous dice gods. All luck, no skill.
Speaking of all luck and no skill, remember that tau commander that Softcap had in reserve? You guessed it, he was a no show. I mean, naturally I planned that. Because I totally loaded his dice. He rolled the biggest, fattest one I've ever seen.
Unfortunately for every tau player ever, combat is also fought during their turn. Again, my spawn failed to produce that sweet poison goodness which would allow them to dump wounds on the riptide, and again, Shadowsun refused to fight Doomrider. The whole team dumped everything they had into the frisbees, barely accomplished anything, and then waited for it to be my turn...
Which is right about now.
Now, as much as I wanted to throw LDP into those pathfinders to shut them up, there was a serious problem with that- Namely that tau have friends, and they love to shoot. The fact that she was sitting on her last wound pretty much guaranteed that she would crumple the next time anyone so much as spat at her.
So what was a girl to do? Well, obviously, go get in a fight where nobody is overwatching. She maneuvered herself into position to end the whole sad affair with Shadowsun and the riptide, and waited for the assault phase.
In shooting, I fired the havoc launcher again, and this time, managed to clip a couple of the little jerks... But wait, I'm getting ahead of myself, I have reserves too!
First up to bat was my outflanking squad of flamer marines with the skalathrax toting steed lord. I rolled up a fat 1 to match Softcap's terrible reserve roll for his crisis commander, but I had a comms relay! Surely the reroll would save me! It didn't... I got a 2. The Steedy and the flamers would stay on the bench. Next up to bat was the bachelorette party, the 10 demonettes. I hit their reserve roll and they decided to show up. I dropped them right next to the pathfinders, which was risky, but I wanted to make Softcap shoot something else, so giving him a target right under his nose wasn't such a bad thing. Unfortunately, the girls didn't seem to agree with me and I promptly scattered them into a mishap and they went back into reserve to get their hair done.
Right, so where were we? I fragged 2 jerkfinders with the havoc launcher, the babysitter's club sat around on their butts (ineffectively) calling in my reserves, and Doomrider and friends were in the middle of a pillow fight with Shadowsun while the rest of Softcap's army in left field sat around playing dominos and trying to look busy.
Oh hey, it must be my assault phase now. Laziest Demon Prince came out swinging, charged right into the back of the riptide, and promptly chopped it in half with her witstealer sword in one round of combat. She put 3 wounds on rippy after he failed his invulnerable saves, and then he crumpled when the witstealer forced him to take initiative checks which he naturally skunked (he's initiative 2) and he promptly imploded and went back under the table where he belongs. It was now up to Doomrider and the spawn to clean up. They turned around, killed the hell out of Shadowsun's frisbees, and by the end of the combat, it was looking like the little lady was going to need to land snake eyes to stick around... She didn't. The initiative 8 demon princess effortlessly ran her down, and I picked up Slay the Warlord and First Blood in one fell swoop.
I consolidated the spawn around Doomrider and LDP to make a wall of bodies between the tau and my precious characters, and I was now back in the open again, staring down a hammerhead, some pathfinders, and another riptide.
LDP cleans up after Doomie and the spawn as the second riptide tries to put distance between itself and my right hook. Shadowsun and the first riptide are run down on my turn, and I consolidate for Lookout Sirs anticipating the next turn of shooting, bottom of turn 2.
TURN 3
Softcap is getting punished. He's got a handful of pathfinders still behind a defense line, the railhead, and a riptide. He rolls up his reserves looking for his commander... BRICKED AGAIN.
This public service announcement is brought to you buy Comm Relays. Because having your reserves when you need them is better than skyfire.
Realizing that he's running a little low on dependable firepower, Softcap begins shifting his fire warriors over to get pulse rifles on me. He's started moving them in turn 2, but between poor difficult terrain rolls and even worse run rolls, the fire warriors don't seem to be in a hurry to get in a spot where they can put shots down range. This is becoming a serious problem, as he's low on big guns and the broadsides are shooting lengthwise down the table across a forest, a defense line, and a hill, and they're out of range for their missiles.
It's time to put up or shut up for the tau, he has one opportunity to clean up my right hook before I roll his whole flank, and he's got to blast his way through a pile of T5 spawn to get to my heavy hitters. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem for the humble fire warrior and his dependable pulse rifle, but the poor blueberries are out of position and nowhere to be found.
Choosing to make a heroic sacrifice instead of trying to get the hell out of the way, the pathfinders make one last attempt with their markerlights, standing still to fire at full BS, but after I blew a hole in them with the havoc launcher, there's just not that many of them left. They get some lights on the spawn, and Softcap starts picking up dice.
He blows up a fat stack of markerlights to make the riptide BS5, and charges up the ion pie plate. Despite his near inability to miss, he deviates into a less than perfect shot, and goes for a twin link reroll. (I don't know how he got this, if its a wargear perk or a markerlight perk or something else. I didn't question it... It won't matter anyways.) He picks up the dice again, promptly rolls boxcars, and the giant ion pie plate evaporates in a pool of sad, muddy tears, completely missing every model, friend and foe.
He then proceeds to throw everything else. Missile systems, drones, a hammerhead sub munition, it all goes into the spawn. A lot of shooting happens, and wounds are getting ticked down, cover saves are being failed, and spawn are looking out sir. At the end of his shooting phase, the smoke clears and its nothing but Doomrider, Laziest Demon Prince, and 2 wounded spawn left standing... But the shooting is over, for now.
It's now my turn, and I roll my reserves.
Demonettes are in.
flamer marines and steed of skallywag lord are in.
I roll up the outflank and the flamers get assigned to the right side, but I re-roll with the steed of Slaanesh's acute senses and get the flank I wanted- The flamers and the steed lord come in on the left side, right next to Softcap's broadside team that I have been pretty much ignoring the whole game as they take pot shots at my right hook. We're gonna put a stop to that.
The demonettes drop in right behind the other riptide, and then I start moving Doomie, LDP, and their spawn meatshields. They all easily hop 12" forward into guaranteed charge range, ready to finally put a stop to this whole markerlight fad.
This public service announcement is brought to you buy Comm Relays. Because having your reserves when you need them is better than skyfire.
Realizing that he's running a little low on dependable firepower, Softcap begins shifting his fire warriors over to get pulse rifles on me. He's started moving them in turn 2, but between poor difficult terrain rolls and even worse run rolls, the fire warriors don't seem to be in a hurry to get in a spot where they can put shots down range. This is becoming a serious problem, as he's low on big guns and the broadsides are shooting lengthwise down the table across a forest, a defense line, and a hill, and they're out of range for their missiles.
It's time to put up or shut up for the tau, he has one opportunity to clean up my right hook before I roll his whole flank, and he's got to blast his way through a pile of T5 spawn to get to my heavy hitters. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem for the humble fire warrior and his dependable pulse rifle, but the poor blueberries are out of position and nowhere to be found.
Choosing to make a heroic sacrifice instead of trying to get the hell out of the way, the pathfinders make one last attempt with their markerlights, standing still to fire at full BS, but after I blew a hole in them with the havoc launcher, there's just not that many of them left. They get some lights on the spawn, and Softcap starts picking up dice.
He blows up a fat stack of markerlights to make the riptide BS5, and charges up the ion pie plate. Despite his near inability to miss, he deviates into a less than perfect shot, and goes for a twin link reroll. (I don't know how he got this, if its a wargear perk or a markerlight perk or something else. I didn't question it... It won't matter anyways.) He picks up the dice again, promptly rolls boxcars, and the giant ion pie plate evaporates in a pool of sad, muddy tears, completely missing every model, friend and foe.
He then proceeds to throw everything else. Missile systems, drones, a hammerhead sub munition, it all goes into the spawn. A lot of shooting happens, and wounds are getting ticked down, cover saves are being failed, and spawn are looking out sir. At the end of his shooting phase, the smoke clears and its nothing but Doomrider, Laziest Demon Prince, and 2 wounded spawn left standing... But the shooting is over, for now.
It's now my turn, and I roll my reserves.
Demonettes are in.
flamer marines and steed of skallywag lord are in.
I roll up the outflank and the flamers get assigned to the right side, but I re-roll with the steed of Slaanesh's acute senses and get the flank I wanted- The flamers and the steed lord come in on the left side, right next to Softcap's broadside team that I have been pretty much ignoring the whole game as they take pot shots at my right hook. We're gonna put a stop to that.
The demonettes drop in right behind the other riptide, and then I start moving Doomie, LDP, and their spawn meatshields. They all easily hop 12" forward into guaranteed charge range, ready to finally put a stop to this whole markerlight fad.
Then, right when I'm about to go into my shooting phase (which is actually happening this turn!) Softcap drops a bomb. He decides he's going to activate his interceptors. The broadsides shoot into my marines that have just showed up to say hello to them. The rolling on his missiles is terrible. The rails hit home, but power armor and Slaanesh icon FNP saves my bacon from missiles, and a handful of non-essential bolter marines drop dead.
He then turns his riptide on my demonettes, and kills a handful of them. There's 4 left. Not that I mind, showing up and dying was their job. Sorry girls, you'll get a better assignment next time, I promise.
Now, this is the part that really blew me away, because now that he's intercepted, he cant fire in his next shooting phase. I understand that this is a desperation move, but knowing he can't shoot his best guns gives me complete freedom to put my models wherever I want. I was a little worried about how I was going to get that riptide, but he solved the problem for me by putting a free turn on the clock. It would end up being a huge mistake in what for the tau was to be a game of poor timing and disappointments.
He then turns his riptide on my demonettes, and kills a handful of them. There's 4 left. Not that I mind, showing up and dying was their job. Sorry girls, you'll get a better assignment next time, I promise.
Now, this is the part that really blew me away, because now that he's intercepted, he cant fire in his next shooting phase. I understand that this is a desperation move, but knowing he can't shoot his best guns gives me complete freedom to put my models wherever I want. I was a little worried about how I was going to get that riptide, but he solved the problem for me by putting a free turn on the clock. It would end up being a huge mistake in what for the tau was to be a game of poor timing and disappointments.
I unloaded my flamers and skalathrax into the the broadsides, putting the templates over the frisbees in the hopes that I could produce casualties with volume of wounds. I was closer to the broadsides themselves though, so all the wounds allocated onto the suits, and they promptly passed ten 2+ armor saves. That was fine with me though, they weren't shooting next turn and I was going to charge them.
I fired the havoc launcher one last time and got a perfect hit on 5 pathfinders, even though my right hook squad was standing right next to them. Softcap bricked the cover saves, and only a handful of pathfinders remained. I fed him doomrider first, charging into the pathfinders. There wasn't enough of them left to make any overwatch stick, and Doomie got in free and clear after the tau cooperative overwatch failed to wound him. Next, the spawn and LDP went in on a disordered charge, giving up their bonus attacks to get both the railhead and the pathfinders.
Doomie challenged the pathfinder shas'ui and killed him, and received +1S on his boon roll. LDP and the spawn wrecked the railhead, but were lucky enough to keep it from exploding all over them. The remaining pathfinders passed their morale check with their bonding knife, and I stayed in combat, which was fine with me. Nothing better than being locked in combat on a tau turn.
TURN 4
Now, I don't have a picture for bottom of turn 3 to put right here, but rest assured, if I did, it wouldn't be pretty. Doomie, LDP, and the spawn are locked with a couple of pathfinders who are going to get murdered to pieces, the broadsides are stuck having a picnic with some marines they can't shoot, and the fire warriors have been more or less struggling to get out of cover and become relevant for the whole game.
The good news is, the Tau commander finally shows up. Mostly because its automatic now... I'm pretty sure if dice were involved, Softcap would fail the roll. Its been that bad for him.
The fire warriors coalesce into a ball of prickly pulse rifles, the commander makes an uneventful deep strike into the ruin in the middle of the table, and promptly passes his dangerous terrain without breaking a sweat. The riptide, which can't shoot on account of its intercepting during my last turn, books it over to the ruin where the fire warriors and the commander are hanging out. The plan is now clear- Softcap has to have his Tau Alamo... A Taulamo. He's bunching the rest of his army together in one last big pile of community overwatch to try to break the charge of my triumphant right wing pain train.
Shooting from the tau this turn is sporadic and broken. With no marker support, the broadsides and the riptide spent from intercepting, and the commander deployed defensively, Softcap has nothing but sporadic pulse rifle fire and a token few shots from his crisis plasma rifles. There's nothing to stop me from closing the net.
The good news is, the Tau commander finally shows up. Mostly because its automatic now... I'm pretty sure if dice were involved, Softcap would fail the roll. Its been that bad for him.
The fire warriors coalesce into a ball of prickly pulse rifles, the commander makes an uneventful deep strike into the ruin in the middle of the table, and promptly passes his dangerous terrain without breaking a sweat. The riptide, which can't shoot on account of its intercepting during my last turn, books it over to the ruin where the fire warriors and the commander are hanging out. The plan is now clear- Softcap has to have his Tau Alamo... A Taulamo. He's bunching the rest of his army together in one last big pile of community overwatch to try to break the charge of my triumphant right wing pain train.
Shooting from the tau this turn is sporadic and broken. With no marker support, the broadsides and the riptide spent from intercepting, and the commander deployed defensively, Softcap has nothing but sporadic pulse rifle fire and a token few shots from his crisis plasma rifles. There's nothing to stop me from closing the net.
In his assault phase, the riptide jumps into formation with the other tau assets to complete the Taulamo. The pathfinders are murdered by Doomrider, and the right wing crew of Doomie, the spawns, and the LDP consolidate to be ready to hop 12" again on my turn.
Its winding down now, and the net is closing in around the tau. I position my flamer marines having a cookout with the broadsides for a charge that will make sure they only base-to-base drones.
My steed lord breaks off from the squad and parks himself right in front of one of the fire warrior teams. Doomrider, LDP, and the Spawn take their obligatory 12" hop, ignoring terrain along the way, (passing dangerous tests in the case of Doomie) and putting themselves in positions for charges.
My shooting phase begins with the havoc launcher taking a cheap shot at the crisis commander and his friends, but the missile bounces harmlessly off crisis power armor. I skallywag a swathe of fire through one of the fire warrior teams, cooking half of them.
Doomrider fires his bike bolters into the primer fire warrior team to little effect, and I ready up for charging.
My characters go in piecemeal first. I force him to split all his overwatch between Doomie and the steed lord. Doomie gets plamsa rifled down to 1 wound from a lucky shot from the crisis suits, but makes it into combat after all 4 of the remaining demonettes soak up the rest of the overwatch fire. 90 points well spent, girls. Skallywag the steed lord also takes a hit on his way in, but he also makes the grade.
Now, its time for Laziest Demon Prince to make the grade. True to her namesake, she rolls a 4. Followed by a fleet reroll of 4... The absolute minimum she needs to get the riptide, by fractions of an inch. She nonchalantly walks into combat, the spawn behind her. She then fails to kill the riptide, and the spawn follow her example. LDP is hard at work, but nobody is going anywhere.
Skallywag the steed lord issues a challenge to the shas'ui of the aqua fire warrior team, kills him, and gets ETERNAL WARRIOR on his boon roll. This pretty much guarantees that he's going to run through the crisis commander's team if he ever catches up to them, as they can't hope to instant death him with the commander's melta gun. Doomie kills a handful of primer fire warriors, and they pile in to fight him, but the weaklings can't scratch his T5.
Its winding down now, and the net is closing in around the tau. I position my flamer marines having a cookout with the broadsides for a charge that will make sure they only base-to-base drones.
My steed lord breaks off from the squad and parks himself right in front of one of the fire warrior teams. Doomrider, LDP, and the Spawn take their obligatory 12" hop, ignoring terrain along the way, (passing dangerous tests in the case of Doomie) and putting themselves in positions for charges.
My shooting phase begins with the havoc launcher taking a cheap shot at the crisis commander and his friends, but the missile bounces harmlessly off crisis power armor. I skallywag a swathe of fire through one of the fire warrior teams, cooking half of them.
Doomrider fires his bike bolters into the primer fire warrior team to little effect, and I ready up for charging.
My characters go in piecemeal first. I force him to split all his overwatch between Doomie and the steed lord. Doomie gets plamsa rifled down to 1 wound from a lucky shot from the crisis suits, but makes it into combat after all 4 of the remaining demonettes soak up the rest of the overwatch fire. 90 points well spent, girls. Skallywag the steed lord also takes a hit on his way in, but he also makes the grade.
Now, its time for Laziest Demon Prince to make the grade. True to her namesake, she rolls a 4. Followed by a fleet reroll of 4... The absolute minimum she needs to get the riptide, by fractions of an inch. She nonchalantly walks into combat, the spawn behind her. She then fails to kill the riptide, and the spawn follow her example. LDP is hard at work, but nobody is going anywhere.
Skallywag the steed lord issues a challenge to the shas'ui of the aqua fire warrior team, kills him, and gets ETERNAL WARRIOR on his boon roll. This pretty much guarantees that he's going to run through the crisis commander's team if he ever catches up to them, as they can't hope to instant death him with the commander's melta gun. Doomie kills a handful of primer fire warriors, and they pile in to fight him, but the weaklings can't scratch his T5.
Meanwhile, over by the broadsides, overwatch fire cuts the squad down to 5 men, but they do not falter. The champion challenges the shas'vre and wounds him with his power sword, and takes no damage in return. The rest of the squad pile onto the frisbees and kill them. I win the combat by 5, force the broadsides to flee, and run them all down with my superior Slaaneshi initiative 5. Who needs AP2?
Its now the end of 4, and Softcap only has control of 1 unit, his unengaged crisis commander and friends. Both fire warrior teams are locked up fighting chaos lords, LDP has the riptide's number, and the Taulamo is surrounded by purple people eaters.
Its now the end of 4, and Softcap only has control of 1 unit, his unengaged crisis commander and friends. Both fire warrior teams are locked up fighting chaos lords, LDP has the riptide's number, and the Taulamo is surrounded by purple people eaters.
Things have been progressively downhill as the Emperor's Children pound in the last few coffin nails. All of the models are behind the ruin in midfield, the riptide is walled in by spawn and the demon prince, Doomie is balls deep in primer warriors, and the 5 marines in the backfield have just eaten the broadsides.
TURN 5
Softcap hops the crisis suits out of the ruin to get the hell out of dodge- Bad stuff is gonna happen in the assault phase and those guys don't want to be there when it does. They take some cheap shots at my flamer marines that just ate the broadsides, and kill 3 of them. The unit is down to 2 marines, but they pass their morale check and stay in the game.
In the assault phase, they hop again to try to put more distance between themselves and the sinking ship, but I wouldn't worry too much about that. Skallywag eats a few more fire warriors, but they hold valiantly thanks to their bonding knife, and Doomie cleans up the primer warriors, eating them all as he runs them down with his superior Initiative 6. He consolidates into cover around the chimera wreck.
Over at the riptide, LDP brings the riptide down to 1 wound by smacking it a bit with her witstealer sword, the riptide fails to fight back, and then they sit down for tea. It would be nice of her to just finish it off, but that's Laziest Demon Princess for you.
On my turn, its more of what you'd expect. Doomie maneuvers around to get a charge on the crisis commander. He's only got 1 wound left and the chances are pretty good if he charges, that he'll get shot in the face... But I decide to go for it anyways, the game is pretty much over and he's D-D-D-D-D-DOOMRIDER!
Skallywag lord cleans up the last 2 blueberry communists he was fighting, and LDP finally tips over the riptide. The remaining 2 flamer marines go tap the enemy objective. Remember the objective?
Doomrider fires his bike bolters at the crisis team, amazingly wounding one of them. He charges in, unscathed by the overwatch, challenges the commander, and then miraculously dodges the Onager Gauntlet, however his sword cannot wound the commander's iridium armor.
The turn ends with Doomie locked in a challenge with the crisis team, but with Lord Skallywag and LDP and the spawn right behind her.
Softcap picks up the die, and rolls to end his pain...
Over at the riptide, LDP brings the riptide down to 1 wound by smacking it a bit with her witstealer sword, the riptide fails to fight back, and then they sit down for tea. It would be nice of her to just finish it off, but that's Laziest Demon Princess for you.
On my turn, its more of what you'd expect. Doomie maneuvers around to get a charge on the crisis commander. He's only got 1 wound left and the chances are pretty good if he charges, that he'll get shot in the face... But I decide to go for it anyways, the game is pretty much over and he's D-D-D-D-D-DOOMRIDER!
Skallywag lord cleans up the last 2 blueberry communists he was fighting, and LDP finally tips over the riptide. The remaining 2 flamer marines go tap the enemy objective. Remember the objective?
Doomrider fires his bike bolters at the crisis team, amazingly wounding one of them. He charges in, unscathed by the overwatch, challenges the commander, and then miraculously dodges the Onager Gauntlet, however his sword cannot wound the commander's iridium armor.
The turn ends with Doomie locked in a challenge with the crisis team, but with Lord Skallywag and LDP and the spawn right behind her.
Softcap picks up the die, and rolls to end his pain...
And with the quality of rolling he's been getting all game, he mercifully gets a 2. The game is over.
Final model count on the table-
all 20 babysitters remain unscathed camping the home objective.
flamer squad is down to 2 men, but holding the enemy objective.
Melta squad is down 3 or 4 men as well from random ineffectual pulse fire throughout the game as they sat in the ruin in midfield, but are unharmed and of no consequence.
2 wounded spawn remain of the original 8.
Doomrider is down to 1 wound, but only after eating a fire warrior team, a pathfinder team, and a handful of drones.
Lord Skallywag still has 2 wounds, and is an eternal warrior after eating a shas'ui.
and finally, the Laziest Demon Prince limps in on 1 wound after witstealing both riptides, thanks to her spawn meatshields.
For Softcap, the count is a lot easier- The only 3 models left are the tau commander and his 2 friends that showed up just in time to get killed.
The final table...
For Softcap, the count is a lot easier- The only 3 models left are the tau commander and his 2 friends that showed up just in time to get killed.
The final table...
The final table as seen from the left flank. The babysitters and rhino remain as they were, and Doomrider is going the distance against the crisis commander when the final bell tolls.
REMEMBER THE TAULAMO!
So, what went wrong for Softcap, and what happened to this supposedly tournament winning tau codex? When he took my dirgecaster rhino out of the game and put some early wounds on my expensive characters, I thought I was going to have to work really hard for it, but once I hit my stride, I was able to roll him up and smoke him.
Well, first things first- His reserve rolls were crap, and his reserve assets were not game changing. His crisis commander had the gauntlet and a melta gun, and his pals had rifles, and they weren't showing up. This hurt him a lot, but my reserve rolls were unlucky as well, so that's a moot point. Neither one of us got our toys when we wanted, but he had something a lot worse going on- First of all, the toys he did put in reserve weren't big. If you have to commit to leaving stuff off the table, make sure that when it does show up, its game changing. Generally, tau crisis drops don't have a problem with this. But after spending so many points on riptides, he was spread to thin to buy a real crisis team. Second, if you're playing with reserves, make sure you have a way to get them. Comms relays, warlord traits, divination magic- Do something to make sure you get your stuff when you need it. Having to flirt with the dice gods for the privilege of putting your models on the table is a joke, especially when the dice gods don't like you.
The other major issue here is that I exploited his completely defunct deployment. The fire warriors were nowhere to be found. I did have some issues with the cooperative overwatch that Tau have in this codex, but the fact of the matter is, when it comes to overwatch, the number of dice counts for more than the size of the guns. There were only 2 charges in the game where I was really facing down a giant pile of pulse rifle dice, and by then it was too late. The good tau commander respects that his most fearsome overwatch doesn't come from frisbees or robots or gundams, it comes from the cheap, humble fire warrior, who must be deployed to contribute his rifle. If Softcap had actually properly spread his fire warriors liberally across his line instead of dumping them in a pile in the middle of the table where I could just go around him, I would have actually had to fight him, maybe even shoot him before I charged!
My last point regarding his army is that I am absolutely and completely unsatisfied with both the riptides and the broadsides. I think a more careful deployment and the swap from rails to missiles would have hosed my demon prince and changed the game. Without having that volume of fire where he needed it, my prince was able to cheat certain death on several occasions.With good deployment on missile sides that don't need line of sight for SMS and a fountain of missile fists, this would have been impossible to pull off.
I'm also not convinced that the riptide is a replacement for a well-equipped crisis team. The model is easy to isolate and tie up, and while a monstrous creature is usually a good thing in 6e, I don't think it helps the tau.
I definitely don't think there's any room in any decent tau list for more than 1 riptide. The large blast template does not stand up against precise plasma rifle fire aided by a re-roll commander.
As it stands, his reliance on the riptides, coupled with his poor deployment, allowed me to play the whole game at a 385 point handicap- My babysitter marines on my rear line never fired a shot and I won the game with Slay the Warlord, First Blood, both objectives, and Linebreaker in the bank. There were a couple times when it looked like I might have lost one of my expensive independent characters, but the riptides need a lot of markerlight support to perform, and there was a drastic turn for the worse in his fortunes once I neutralized the pathfinders that were feeding his shooting phase.
Granted, Softcap hasn't been around the block very long and I'm not surprised his list was wonky. In the end, he did make a good decision to try to salvage his losing battle by grouping up for overwatch support as I closed the net around him, but the flaws in his list didn't leave him much to work with.
There were also times when he inappropriately fed me a Shas'ui challenge, giving me the boon roll when he shouldn't have. As a tau player, who hates close combat and prefers to be wiped out so that it re-opens your fire lanes, its very important to pick and choose your challenges. You should always make sure that you do everything you can to make sure that the opponent kills the highest volume of models and wins combat on his own turn, so that you can clear the firing lanes and shoot him in the face on the tau turn. You should never accept a challenge on the enemy turn in order to stall his combat resolution score, its nearly always better to sacrifice, lose, and go back to shooting. A lot of the challenges he did accept, he accepted on bad turns that prolonged my ability to stay in combat and avoid fire.
Overall, I think we would have seen a different game and a more rounded list from a veteran tau player. The age of railside spam died with the S10 railside, and the missile fist is the new king. Multiple riptides take away too many guns, and the successful tau player invests in what has always worked for them- A butt load of missiles and a double butt load of pulse rifles.
The fact of the matter is, I did take unnecessary risks in this game and my plays were not always supreme. Flying the demon prince out to get shot down to 1 wound was pointless and unnecessary, and she could have stayed fresh if she just hung out with the spawn on turn 1 and 2. The babysitters would have also been a significant tactical weakness against a better player, as they weren't in a hurry to contribute anything, and I could have easily trimmed that squad and fit in 2 more rhinos with dirgecasters to stop his overwatch. I normally also like to have redundancy in a list, as I think most players ritually single out and kill models one at a time, and showing them redundant choices will confuse and alarm them, and the fact that my plan hinged around 1 dirgecaster was just amateurish. Of course, the problem there was that I only owned one rhino to begin with, as I made the mistake of selling off most of my motor pool. Lesson learned- Rhinos are forever, kids. You can sell marines and you can sell men and you can sell guns, but never sell your troop transports. One day you'll be list building and wish you didn't.
The other major issue here is that I exploited his completely defunct deployment. The fire warriors were nowhere to be found. I did have some issues with the cooperative overwatch that Tau have in this codex, but the fact of the matter is, when it comes to overwatch, the number of dice counts for more than the size of the guns. There were only 2 charges in the game where I was really facing down a giant pile of pulse rifle dice, and by then it was too late. The good tau commander respects that his most fearsome overwatch doesn't come from frisbees or robots or gundams, it comes from the cheap, humble fire warrior, who must be deployed to contribute his rifle. If Softcap had actually properly spread his fire warriors liberally across his line instead of dumping them in a pile in the middle of the table where I could just go around him, I would have actually had to fight him, maybe even shoot him before I charged!
My last point regarding his army is that I am absolutely and completely unsatisfied with both the riptides and the broadsides. I think a more careful deployment and the swap from rails to missiles would have hosed my demon prince and changed the game. Without having that volume of fire where he needed it, my prince was able to cheat certain death on several occasions.With good deployment on missile sides that don't need line of sight for SMS and a fountain of missile fists, this would have been impossible to pull off.
I'm also not convinced that the riptide is a replacement for a well-equipped crisis team. The model is easy to isolate and tie up, and while a monstrous creature is usually a good thing in 6e, I don't think it helps the tau.
I definitely don't think there's any room in any decent tau list for more than 1 riptide. The large blast template does not stand up against precise plasma rifle fire aided by a re-roll commander.
As it stands, his reliance on the riptides, coupled with his poor deployment, allowed me to play the whole game at a 385 point handicap- My babysitter marines on my rear line never fired a shot and I won the game with Slay the Warlord, First Blood, both objectives, and Linebreaker in the bank. There were a couple times when it looked like I might have lost one of my expensive independent characters, but the riptides need a lot of markerlight support to perform, and there was a drastic turn for the worse in his fortunes once I neutralized the pathfinders that were feeding his shooting phase.
Granted, Softcap hasn't been around the block very long and I'm not surprised his list was wonky. In the end, he did make a good decision to try to salvage his losing battle by grouping up for overwatch support as I closed the net around him, but the flaws in his list didn't leave him much to work with.
There were also times when he inappropriately fed me a Shas'ui challenge, giving me the boon roll when he shouldn't have. As a tau player, who hates close combat and prefers to be wiped out so that it re-opens your fire lanes, its very important to pick and choose your challenges. You should always make sure that you do everything you can to make sure that the opponent kills the highest volume of models and wins combat on his own turn, so that you can clear the firing lanes and shoot him in the face on the tau turn. You should never accept a challenge on the enemy turn in order to stall his combat resolution score, its nearly always better to sacrifice, lose, and go back to shooting. A lot of the challenges he did accept, he accepted on bad turns that prolonged my ability to stay in combat and avoid fire.
Overall, I think we would have seen a different game and a more rounded list from a veteran tau player. The age of railside spam died with the S10 railside, and the missile fist is the new king. Multiple riptides take away too many guns, and the successful tau player invests in what has always worked for them- A butt load of missiles and a double butt load of pulse rifles.
The fact of the matter is, I did take unnecessary risks in this game and my plays were not always supreme. Flying the demon prince out to get shot down to 1 wound was pointless and unnecessary, and she could have stayed fresh if she just hung out with the spawn on turn 1 and 2. The babysitters would have also been a significant tactical weakness against a better player, as they weren't in a hurry to contribute anything, and I could have easily trimmed that squad and fit in 2 more rhinos with dirgecasters to stop his overwatch. I normally also like to have redundancy in a list, as I think most players ritually single out and kill models one at a time, and showing them redundant choices will confuse and alarm them, and the fact that my plan hinged around 1 dirgecaster was just amateurish. Of course, the problem there was that I only owned one rhino to begin with, as I made the mistake of selling off most of my motor pool. Lesson learned- Rhinos are forever, kids. You can sell marines and you can sell men and you can sell guns, but never sell your troop transports. One day you'll be list building and wish you didn't.