I had to go up to Nottingham on business on Thursday. The trip from Kent is only around 200 miles and is motorway all the way so it should be quick and easy, right?
Nah!
Have to drive around London and cross the Thames and that is akin to crossing Antarctica on dog sledge.
We set off at nine am after the rush hour had subsided. The first jam was twenty minutes up the M2. A car had crashed on the Bluewater roundabout which had backed up onto the motorway. They closed the eastbound completely so the jam extended for ten miles or so back onto the M25 and over the Queen Elizabeth bridge into Essex.
Still, not too bad westbound and it did mean that the Thames tunnel was relatively jam free.
Then we hit a major M25 westbound blockage north of the river. An articulated lorry had run off the road at the roadworks and was axle deep in the mud. A crane had to be moved in to get it out and the whole westbound traffic was down from four to one lane.
Lost an hour there.
M1 relatively jam-free so we made it to Nottingham by two pm.
Only five hours to go 200 miles: a result!
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Stayed overnight and set off the next day at 12.30 after my last meeting.
Warnings came up on the M1 screens that the M25 was closed in both directions at the roadworks to the west.
Gulped hard and decided to go round the long way anti-clockwise. Me an a million others plus the Heathrow Gatwick traffic.
Crash on M1 slowed us down and then news that the westbound M25 had opened.
Hurrah! Set off west.
What they hadn't told us was the a lorry was blocking both carriageways (see above) and only one lane was opened. Thank God we were on the front of the wave so there was only a five mile jam when we reached it. waved to Sky News camera on bridge.
Lost two hours.
Car crashed on QE bridge.
Lost another hour.
Made it into Kent at six pm.
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Heard that the anticlockwise flow was now backed up from Essex to M1 the wrong way round.
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How much does a helicopter cost anyway?