Hello folks!
This week all but 1 of the matches were played in one evening. It was cool to have a room full of friends all playing at once but unfortunately I didn’t get to see many of the games as I was playing my match. Therefore, I won’t be able to tell you the ins-and-outs of what happened. Anyway, lets get stuck in with the results, shall we?
Magnusson’s Marauders 0 – The Ironbeard Guard 1
Yet again the Chaos Gods have chosen to spurn me. Bad dice rolls have plagued this league for me, and its making it really hard for me to consider playing this team any further than this season. Although having read what I’ve just written makes me think that sounds a bit whiny. It’s probably because I’ve always used Orks before, who are really strong from the get-go. Maybe, dear readers, just maybe I should stick it out, persevere and have faith in Chaos.
I started the game off one player down, but foolishly and arrogantly I felt I had a good chance of a win. Quickly things went wrong. The very second block of the match badly injured one of my marauders, making him miss the rest of the match. To be fair the first half was great, both teams trading blows like true heroes. But the Dwarves were on form, after receiving the kick-off, they carefully made their way forward, knocked over some of my team and before I knew it the Dwarven runner had broken through my lines! Every player from my team that could feasibly take him down was tied up, except for one. He made a valiant effort to take the ball carrier down but as Dan had supported him with a blitzer, it was easier said than done. A bit of fumbling around, another of my players gets injured making me another man down for the rest of the game, and the Ironbeard Guard walk home a well fought touchdown.
That one drive took most of the first half. Luckily a dwarf gets caught fouling one of my players and is also sent off for the rest of the match. Somehow I had broken through some armour, sending a bearded one off pitch to recuperate. Going into the second half the teams, although slightly depleted, were even again. My plan was to at least get an equalizer. This however was not destined to be.
First kick-off result for the second half was riot. The referee lets the clock run on, meaning I have lost 5 of the 8 turns I had to score! There are now 3 rounds left in the whole game for me to break through the dwarven defences and get my touchdown. Needless to say, this didn’t happen.
During the post-match sequence I did something odd. I had been told/dared by Kilowog from @BOTHDOWN on twitter that I should trust in Chaos each time a player levels up in my team I should roll completely randomly which skill he receives. So I decided to accept this challenge. Now I have 1 marauder with the Fend skill, and 1 who has grown a Prehensile Tail. Fend is not something that I would normally go for initially, but I can see where it can be useful. Prehensile Tail is something I would pick because I find it can combo nicely with Shadowing. Get a player with both of those, plop them on the wings of the pitch and it gives dodging players something more to worry about. However, the chances of me randomly rolling Shadowing on that player in the future are very low. I think I have learnt to say screw it now. What will be will be, and Magnusson’s Marauders will go on until the bitter end!
The Hurdy Gurdy Hitmen 1 – Al Gore’s Man Bear Pig Appreciation Society 2
Pretty standard match it seems. One thing that does stick out was the first sacking of a player! The Hurdy Gurdy Hitmen have decided that their injured runner, Honir, was too much of a liability and drain on the teams resources so they have chosen to end his contract! It’s a tough life being a Blood Bowl player.
I told them I was ill 3 – We just want to be loved 0
Two stinky teams that utilize zombies for their line-men. Two teams with very silly names. But it seems that the Necromancers took the upper hand (probably chewed on it for a bit), and won the game. I should imagine the S.Milligan, the werewolf, and his high speed value contributed to the success.
I do not envy the groundskeeper that has to clean up after this match. Eww.
Ming’s Marauders 2 – Unnamed Orc Team 1
Still unnamed, still without his own models, Rob’s Orc team suffered the defeat. On top of that a Black Orc fell to the blades of the insidious Dark Elves. Luckily, a new Black Orc was eagerly hired straight after the match!
Whilst writing this post I was going to say that the Orcs exacted revenge for their fallen teammate when I remembered what actually happened. I was so close to given the Greenskins false glory. The truth is much more amusing.
Cidan, the Dark Elf blitzer not only has the ball, but also the endzone in sight. It’s a little bit further than he can comfortably run in one turn, but he’s going to give it a shot. Adam, AKA Ming, has to roll a Go For It check. Failed. Armours broken. Injury result comes up Dead and Seriously Injured. This roll then becomes dead. That’s right. Just as Cidan is about to cross the line into the endzone, he trips on a piece of debris thrown onto the pitch by howling fans, lands awkwardly and promptly snaps his neck. No more Cidan. Classic.
Da Smashy Hitterz 0 – The Lack Lustrians 3
Both teams arrived at the match undefeated, only one of them left that way. Damn those pesky lizards. I have yet to play against them, and I’m not looking forward to it!
The Blades of Loec 5 – The South Ulthuan Storm 1
That’s right. Two new teams! Russell (The Blades of Loec, Woodelves) and Matt (The South Ulthuan Storm, Elves) both asked if they could join the league, taking the place of the players that dropped out. I figured why not? The more the merrier.
I watched this match and it was disgusting. The ludicrous result is due to Russell really knowing how to use Wood Elves (they were up and down the pitch quicker than you could blink) and Matt having HORRIBLE luck. Will be interesting having these guys in the league, even if it is a late stage!
Fantasy Football League Results
Total SPP Team Name
108 The Southland Alliance
100 The Donkey Men
98 Clueless Wonders
95 Bellend Hogs
86 Doc’s Depraved Delinquents
86 Team Hatstand
82 The Menagerie of Malcontent’s
79 Traci Lords of Change
76 RRRiot POW-Lice
37 Van Hemlock’s Vandals
Well after a great start the RRRiot POW-lice have plummeted through the rankings. We have a nice stand off between Zoso’s Team Hatstand and Toerag’s Doc’s Depraved Delinquents. And just edging ahead of the crowd is The Southland Alliance. Poor old Van Hemlock’s Vandals seems to be a team made of the laziest players in the league so far. Sad times.
I have to say though, I’m pretty disappointed so far, folks. No-one has been able to pick any players that have been killed or fired so far! And we the death toll racking up, I’m quite surprised!
Players that will be missing the next round include:
Jizzwink the Skaven Blitzer (Al Gore’s Man Bear Pig Appreciation Society)
Newly hired players:
Bill and Ted the Rotters (We Just Want To Be Loved)
Rugg the Blocker (The Ironbeard Guard)
P.Seller the Werewolf (I Told Them I Was Ill)
Fired players:
Honir the Runner (The Hurdy Gurdy Hitmen)
Let us now honour the dead:
Unnamed Black Orc, Unnamed Orc Team(Duffed up by Dark Elves)
Cidan the Blitzer, Ming’s Marauders(Tripped to death)
That’s all for this week. The next installment won’t be for at least another week now, but stay tuned to Power Armoured Beard for more treats!
