I was woke up today feeling like I needed my daily dose of theory-hammer. That usually takes me to my favorite egoist and general shit stirrer Stelek of Yes the Truth Hurts. On today’s “I really need to spend less time behind a computer screen and more time testing out my theories and play against more than just people drinking the same kool-aid” edition of YTTH, we get a statement so crazy that it almost made me spit out my o.j.
For reference here is the post in question.
So far, here’s the short list:
*Swooping Hawks
*Gargoyles
*Raptors
*Tankbustas
*Shining Spears
*Ogryns
*Scourges
*Ork Boyz
*Howling Banshees
*Striking Scorpions
*Everything with the word “Wraith” in the Eldar Codex.I’ll give my quick and easy answers first.
Then whichever unit I feel like, will get a more in depth change over.
Swooping Hawks: Need auto hit & run, and 3 shots each. Delete the anti-tank option entirely. Until they can qualify as troops again, they will still suck.
Gargoyles: Need a CC option, and need a ranged option with more shots. Probably 24″ with 2 shots a piece. Ability to ignore cover as they move would make them suck a lot less.
Raptors: Chaos Codex needs to not suck first, these guys are hopeless in that framework of crap.
Tankbustas: Same as Raptors. Some things aren’t fixable. Especially when they contest with Lootas and Nobs. Nuh uh. Unfixable because there are only 3 elite slots.
Shining Spears: Need invulnerable saves in CC, 3+ period. Also need Hit & Run as an option.
Ogryns: Power Fist and Fleet options.
Scourges: -12 points off cost of them, and should be given extended range shredders. Like 18″ range. Delete Dark Lance options. Also need Hit & Run.
Ork Boyz: Codex as a whole sucks. BS3 will probably never happen, ask anyone. The removal of spammable assault weapons without buying 30 boyz was some kind of ‘abuse’ I never understood the removal of. Orks with Fearless are horrible–they should not get destroyed by shitty assault units getting lucky, thanks for playing. Way to design two Codices as if 5th edition wasn’t right around the corner. Eldar and Ork players thank you for your mistake. Now counting down from nine years…oh and no, Ork Boyz cannot be ‘fixed’. Even at 4 points each. Deletion of Clanz and Ard Boyz (0-1 is bullshit) is craptastic for Orks in general. Oh well. Unfixable.
Howling Banshees: Wild Charge, give them a 12″ charge range and rending so they can at least threaten vehicles. Having a 4+ invulnerable save in CC would help quite a bit, or at least a vehicle they can assault out of when it moves.
Striking Scorpions: Return S9 power fist to Exarch, or drop dead thanks. Meltabombs again would also be nice. As with Banshees, a vehicle they can assault out of when it moves would be nice.
Wraithguard: Need to be able to ‘fire’ in CC. I don’t care how you word it. Also, they need a 4+ invulnerable in CC.
Wraithlord: Return base 3 attacks, equip with invulnerable save. Don’t care if it makes them cost 200 points, should be an option. Fucking things never get cover without a personal forest grown just for them.
Well, my eyes are going funny. Time to sleep!
As you look at his list you could easily say, “oh yeah that unit needs some help or wtf was GW thinking” then I noticed something that was out of place, did Stelek just claim that Ork Boyz are the suck? The words were staring right at me; not only did he think they are crap, he said they were unfixable? First, set aside the lunacy of Ork Boyz being crap and take a look at the notion that some unit is unfixable. Are you really that lazy? No unit is unfixable and almost every unit has a use when placed in the hands of good general. I understand you want every unit able to take out tanks at the same time have power weapons, but really think outside the box for once.
Back to the notion that Boyz are crappy. One argument is that a lucky roll can kill a bunch of Orks. Guess what, on an average rolls Orks can kill SS/TT Termies on the charge. Before we go on down math-hammer lane. I don’t want hear the tired argument that Ork Boyz cannot kill a Land Raider effectively. Land Raider is one tank, and last time I checked you cannot make an entire army of only Land Raiders.
Think about what he is saying: “shitty assault unit getting lucky”, well fucking crap on a lucky roll my Pathfinders can beat a Daemon Prince in assault. As I have reviewed in an earlier post, Stelek thinks “getting lucky” never means he could have made a tactical mistake. So why does everyone I talk to think Ork Boyz are one of the most cost effective units in the game, not to mention of all the armies I play, I lose the least with Orks and I get crushed the worst against. Then again I am not the Micheal Jordan of 40k like Stelek.
I could go on and list the ways Ork Boyz are great, but I really rather let you guys comment on your experience playing them or fighting against them. I am open to the possibility that I might be living in a fantasy land as well. Also, what you think about Stelek list of units, I agree with most of what he says, what about you?