Imagine for a second Stelek is Bill O’Reilly or Keith Olbermann; loud, opinionated, and egotistical, but from time to time can make some sense. Hold that imagine, then picture Glenn Beck; bloated, paranoid, and speaks for Tinfoil Hats and Flat Earthers. If Glenn Beck was a 40k Internet personality he would be The_ King_Elessar.

A handle can tell us a lot about a person. When you think you are a literary King from an epic fantasy novel you have problems or at the very least you should have a wife as hot as Liv Tyler. I do not think Aragon would go off the handle using repetitive leet speak. For what point? From what I can gather Elessar wakes up every morning, checks to see what Stelek writes, then regurgitates it in smaller sentences. Which is sad, I can totally deal with one Stelek, but I cannot deal with two or more Steleks that cannot pull off Stelek, the way Stelek can pull off Stelek.

So what do I mean? Take a look at this topic from Elessar’s blog. This post is in response to the BoLScon tourney.

How the fuck did those shitty-ass list win Balls-Con?

Because even shitty lists still have breathing people that play them. 40k is not as simple as point, click, win. I know living in the Metaverse of the 40k Internets has clouded your mind, but there are more people that play and win without reading blogs or trolling.

Fucking Comp scores.
Fucking Sportsmanship/Modelling/painting trying to determine who the best PLAYER is. Not HOBBYIST, PLAYER.

This is when people are lazy and just blurt out whatever. Now if you were smart or patient you could have asked exactly how things were scored. You would of looked to see if Best Overall, included the top battlepoints. Shockingly, it was discovered that the Overall winners were the best generals.

Skill is not subjective, people, there’s a clearly defined way to determine it. Painting and friendliness are ENTIRELY subjective, and it is therefore an Epic Fail way to determine…well, anything.

Wrong buddy on two points. Painting seems totally subjective, but if your entire army is just primed black and you use that to your advantage because, I cannot tell which model is which then it is not subjective. Same with sportsmanship, have you ever had an opponent that was such an asshole that you just wanted to get the game over with, regardless of the outcome? Or that player with his girlfriend or on his cell phone the whole time not paying attention? Sportsmanship can be a hard score if  human behavior changes the way you play. 40k is an all encompassing game, you simply cannot play from a TV, where your ability to manipulate the analog stick dictates how great a player you are.

Fucking Fail.

Wish I was surprised.

When the Top Three fucking Generalship scores go to players that aren’t in the top Two overall, that’s fail.

Oopsy, did someone off without finding out the truth? So much for super fluffy bunny tourney.

When Nids place at all, that’s Fail.

Granted I was shocked by the results like most people. I figured BoLS con would have summoned total tooled lists and a balanced army would not survive the gauntlet. Still to suggest that certain lists have no chance, only shows the depth of how myopic your view of 40k skill really is. Since there is not international system of tournaments we will never truly know if there is one list to rule them all. What it will always come down to is, the player and his experience with the army he plays. Nothing is or ever should be auto win.

When Shitty-ass MegaBattleforce lists of ANY variety, (it’s not because it’s Orks, it’s because it’s shit) place, that’s Epic Fail.

I am just curious did your parents always referred to you as fail? This is some serious nerd rage.

When a guy needs to go on the Fucking BoLS Lounge after the event to clarify whether or not his Hydra has a fucking Quad-Linked (WTF. Seriously, moron, QUAD-FUCKING-LINKED?!?!?!) Autocannon, because it came up at the event, and his Rules Fail was so complete he didn’t already fucking know, or have the ability to READ?!?!

What can I say besides, get a grip.

Yeah, that’s Fail all right.

Roll on YTTHCon 2010.

It is good to see to see your boot licking skills never cease.

Heresy, Dakka, Warseer, I’m looking at you fuckers to set up some shit too, it cannot possibly be worse than Balls-Con.

Actually, I don’t really expect you to. It’s a huge undertaking, one far more conducive to a Blog than a Forum. Fuckers wasn’t meant offensively at you either. 😉

Rage dying… cannot… sustain…losing ability to be coherent…must get another Red Bull or some ritalin.

After this little diatribe we get the comments. Which clearly put him in his place by JWolf and others. I could comment on the comments, but they speak for themselves. Please read for the entertainment. For those that do not like reading here are some pictures.

Jwolf  comments,


Then Goatboy comments,


You would think that someone named King Elessar would not take such a beat down without a fight. Instead, Elessar responds with groveling with a pinch of ass kissing. Still there are a few things I do not understand.

        1. Why does Jwolf and Goatboy even comment? They should be above this drivil, the person complaining was not even in the same country at the time of the event.

        2.Why do people think that if you spam on every board and every blog in the known universe that you become an automatic expert?

        3. Why cannot I go to Chucky Cheeze by myself and not get kicked out?

To answer those questions I would need another post.

Besides trying to be the international Stelek, King Elessar behavior suggests someone that just wants attention and validation because, either mommy did not pay attention or daddy was a drunk, I am not sure which one. Elessar needs to find his own voice that is not a bad rehash of Stelek. That way I can focus my own rage better. Also, how dare you hurt Goatboy‘s feelings by making him post this on BoLS. Let him go on his honeymoon in peace! Goatboy is too fragile to have to think about your rage and a wedding at the same time.

Is it too late to thank you for posting here and also linking my blog to your own?

I have a habit of trying to painting a picture, so why stop here. Imagine for a second Stelek is Bill O’Reilly or Keith Olbermann; loud, opinionated, and egotistical, but from time to time make sense. Now hold that imagine, then sudden Glenn Beck; bloated, paranoid, and has a pension to wearing tinfoil hats. That would be winner of 40k online troll of the year The_ King_Elessar.