Today we’re going to look at the worst person blog out there… a blog so heinous I can’t even say its name until I’m sure all the preview links and Twitter blurbs out there are past the minimum characters.

I wouldn’t want to offend anyone, after all. I’m considerate that way; in fact, I’d go so far as to say I’m a sensitive, 90’s kind of guy; I’d fit right in as a member of the band Erasure, except I’m not gay. That’s just how I am.

Our ‘guest’ today, and believe me when I say I use the term loosely, is a ‘man’, and believe me when I say I use the term loosely, who’s created a blog that’s probably contagious.

It is the anti-anti-establishment blog. It is Project Mayhem in the form of an unassuming hobby blog, one you initially think would be made better by an infusion of talent. It will give you herpes… twice.

How does it manage that, you ask? Because the first time it managed to convince you it sat on the wrong toilet seat and you were stupid enough to think that was even possible.

Dick Move – THERE I SAID IT! – is that kind of blog. It has no redeeming value. If you visit – and you shouldn’t – consider it slumming for a bad example. Let’s meet our guest.

Dethtron, if that is your real name, do you even PLAY games or is your blog linked to the 40K blogosphere by accident?

Clearly it’s my real name. Had you taken the time to read the bio on my blog, you may have noticed that I’ve been playing since ’92. After playing around with Hero Quest, Battlemasters, Battletech, Shadowrun, some White Wolf bullshit, and Magic the Gathering I fell for Warhammer Fantasy. From there I went on to play a little bit of 40k, but didn’t like the system much back then (2nd ed?) and the minis looked like ass for the most part. I took a break from things to go to college where I had neither the time, nor the money, nor the sobriety to concentrate on things that didn’t involve chasing the fairer sex. Fast forward a few years and I played around with Warmachine for a little bit before ultimately falling back in like with 40k. I will be playing some fantasy again shortly, once I’ve finished putting an army together. So yeah, I have played, still play, and will continue to play. I have a sick setup in my basement, so never really got into the FLGS scene. My group is a little small at the moment, but I’m working on that. If you live in Chicago and are looking to put the lotion in the basket play a game in my basement, hit me up.

I was told you post in red; why do you… never mind. I lost interest in that question as I typed it. So, your blog is called Dick Move. I’m going to regret asking, but what’s that mean and how did you come up with it?

The title can mean a lot of things. Primarily to me, however, it is about calling people out on their own dick moves. This includes, but is not limited to: giving out shit advice on forums, giving out shit advice on blogs, poor grammar, xenophobia, and trolling. The irony that I am guilty of all of the above and more has never escaped me.

The blog exists so that I can say what I’m actually thinking without the risk of being banned from a forum or blog. It’s just an outlet for my nerd rage and sailor’s mouth (though I’m not a sailor). I thought it up as a way to vent about all of the stupidity I was seeing around the Internet. The fact that anybody cares to read about it still shocks me to this day.

I hear you do something called Snowshoeing, or Snowballing, or Snowmanning – what’s it called and what is it?

It’s snowmobiling. I started playing around with turning forum posts and blog comments into a narrative, where I inserted what I would have said to that poster in real life or if the pussy forum/blog owner didn’t have language filters. To make it easier to read (not that poor writing and insanity is ever easy to reads) I colored my own text red.

I guess he answered that anyway.

After I started doing it, I saw it popping up quite a bit elsewhere and decided to coin a phrase for it. (NOTE: For those of you keeping track, the last sentence is where Real Genius’ eyes glazed over. We’ll now return to our regularly scheduled program.) The name appeared pretty organically in my mind as it refers to a certain feat in the bedroom in which one person very much so takes control of the situation. I could elaborate further, but I’ll try and keep this R rated.

I’ll Google that later. The name of your most popular series of posts is called Friday Night Fights; what is it, how did you get started, and aren’t you ashamed of yourself?

Well it’s Friday Night INTERNET Fight, actually. Thanks for preparing for this interview. It’s not like you’re wasting anybody’s time or anything.

Moving right along- Friday Night Internet Fight (FNIF) was a series that I conceived before I had a blog. I always thought that flame wars and ridiculous anonymous arguments over the internet were hilarious – probably for all the wrong reasons. I take a forum or blog thread that devolves into a fight and snowmobile it relentlessly. So it’s basically just my way of adding some humor to a situation where people are taking themselves way too seriously. To add some fun, there is a poll every week to vote for the winner. There is rarely a winner.

As a side note, fights in which every participant is wrong or an idiot have always been my favorites.

Bonus Question: Blogs as magazines – it’s an analogy mate, roll with it – Bell is People, YTTH is Guns and Ammo, and Blood of Kittens is US Weekly… what magazine is 3++ Is the New Black?

It would probably be “The Economist.” But thanks for asking me a question about my own blog, which is clearly “Hustler” or “Cracked” (“Mad’s” cheaper and now defunct cousin).

For those who are confused, I mixed up my article questionnaires… and Dethtron got the Bonus Question and Lightning Round meant for Part IV! I suppose I could have fixed it but his vague irritation was funnier. And let’s face it, this is a pretty chicken-shit operation. I’m sure Real Genius would agree if he hadn’t of left a looooong time ago. Keep that in mind for question 6 and 7 to follow.

Lightning Round!

  1. Narcissist or Histrionic? Masochistic and Self-loathing
  2. Bell of Lost Souls or Yes The Truth Hurts? Dick Move
  3. Blogs or Forums? After the shit I’ve put myself through I can barely do either at this point…
  4. Painted or Plastic? Painted or GTFO
  5. Competitive Player or Fluffy Bunny? Too much baggage with either term. I like tough games, don’t particularly like tournaments (I prefer opponents who bathe), and I try to heed the fluff or at least have reasonable, characterful explanations for my army composition choices. Good luck putting a label on that.
  6. Friday Night Fights or What the hell is that? Didn’t you ask me about this already and already get the title wrong once? So I’ll answer a different question: boxer briefs.
  7. Brent or Not Brent? Hate to say it, but I’ve got to go with the group that is inclusive of me.
  8. Battle Reports or How-To-Posts? Battle Reports do next to nothing for me. As much as I like seeing people with less photography skills than whoever got all those Sasquatch or UFO pics try and document their games, I find blurry photos with awkward angles pretty much useless.
  9. Troller or Lurker? Passive-aggressive
  10. Unicorn or Girl Gamer? I’ve got Dr. Girlfriend to come home to every night, and she stays the hell out of my hobby. Pretty sure our relationship is better for it.

Okay guys (if there are any of you left), normally the Lightning Round would end the article but I think this one does call for a slight explanation. Suffice it to say, I really love Dethtron’s blog. Did that come through anywhere? Dick Move is what I’ve been calling the anti-anti-establishment blog; it pokes fun at everything, including the idea of poking fun at everything. It doesn’t take itself too seriously and it almost dares the blogosphere at large to make that mistake. I’ve seen threads where people got worried it would be featured in a FNIF – and yes, I know what it is actually called – and reined themselves in. How funny is that?

Thanks for reading! If you’re interested in the history of Not Brent, a multi-blog running gag, swing on over to Strictly Average!

Now for a special comment from TastyTaste presented by the color teal. Dick Move bares some striking similarities to another 40k blog I just cannot place… This is made even more intriguing because Dethtron taste in music is also similar to that of this oh so subtle referenced “mystery” blog.