Warning: Click on links and videos at your own peril…

By pure serendipity I’ve discovered something so horrifying that even the creators of Human Centipede would look away.

Wait no…I take that back….

Even the people behind Human Centipede would consider dumb.

What I speak of is a new set of videos that have appeared over the last few months from Games Workshop. In them we find out youth labor laws in Britain have not changed since the 1880s and Mr. Wiggin of Ironeside and Malone criticism of Games Workshop corporate continues, if only I was a Freemason…

Before we dive into these most egregious acts against humanity I thought it would be wise to set the stage. First off, one assumes a publicly traded company with locations across the globe would have ONE dedicated YouTube channel to easily disseminate all propaganda to the public, right? As is the case (with much of GW’s behavior) these days the opposite of logic reigns. Instead, we have the Games Workshop Design Studio channel, the The Black Library channel, ForgeWorldVisualFeed channel. Those three channels have useful and great pieces of material to view, but what was birthed from the Nexus of Sominus on July 13th, 2011 defies belief: What’s New Today! channel.

If you always wonder where corporate toadies get their start this is the YouTube channel for you. The What’s New Today channel is a creation of our friends at Games Workshop Corporate headquarters! Now on to the story…

The story begins with Dan Harden the first boy through the rotating knives– if only the corridor was sound proof.

httpv://youtu.be/fTKr7c-7yo4

Now is it just me or does Danny boy seem a bit overwhelmed by the whole experience or maybe it is the repeating of himself, the scary American that walks pass him, or the cars driving past him more than a 100 feet away. Don’t worry it only gets better for Danny boy…

httpv://youtu.be/hjNRt7eYang

Danny starts to loosen up a bit at the same time I start to wonder should I use the word “fantastic” or “brilliant” for the drinking game I am creating. Nothing though compares to poor Danny’s introduction to the unwashed masses and realizes his life is worth less than a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory.

httpv://youtu.be/l_1b8Q4B97s

Just skip to around 3:30 mark for some fantastic stuff! I don’t know about you, but I think I’m done with this fantastic fun; sure Danny was too, as his blood poured down the chutes of the GW offices. So what would GW do to replace the fantastic Dan Harden? Well GW created a true monster or at the very least a brainwashed Oliver Twist looking little twit by the name of James Braund. Now I felt sorry for good old Dan, I have no sympathy for this plucky fuck GW toady…

httpv://youtu.be/PJz5AYN6__w

Besides looking silly in the yellow jumper, we get confirmation that everything is going fantastic at this Games Day. Notice how little James doesn’t get anywhere near to anything we might want to see because God forbid we actually learn anything we didn’t already know. James follows in his next video trying to rally a crowd with an obligatory Waaagh, but instead might have jump started puberty in the process. James then follows up with a forced interaction with Horus, only to end the video in a kumbaya moment that is almost believable, here take a look…

httpv://youtu.be/KiiCCylQevI

James next finds an Ogre Kingdom dev, which answers the eternal question does GW hire Americans game designers? Well as long as they grovel at the cloven feet of Jervis first they do.

httpv://youtu.be/0ypVqir5Mbc

Finally, James makes his way to the always dreamy Phil Kelly to talk about Dread Fleet. Instead we find Phil acknowledging the existence of a fabled human invention. Skip to 3:40 mark to be amazed! As well don’t look directly into the eyes of little orphan Annie!

httpv://youtu.be/JIGGJXDDk9s

I am certainly spent, you? Now I in all fairness I have Youtube channel filled with crappy videos, but BoK is not Games Workshop and throwing sheep like this to the slaughter is just cruel. I shouldn’t be too cruel at least I can understand the Jeffrey Jones victims more than these blokes…