Sorry there has been nothing on here recently, I would usually opt to keep this hobby pure, but I feel I should at least explain why it’s quiet around here and likely to remain so for at least a little while.
Not too shure where to start, this weekend was a write off for two reasons, by birthday and also me and my GF of 5 years have gone our own ways, we care about each other a great deal and have been through the ringer, but we just can’t make it work ,our reationship has been dying a slow lingering death these last two years and we were growing into people neither of us liked , she disliked me and herself and us, i disliked her myself and us ….we had a big bust up over something ultimately trivial last week which I think after some days to think on it raised too many questions to just brush under the carpet and return to the vicious cycle.
I’m heartbroken, I must leave now, an that means leaving my cats too, I can’t split them up, the cats, or her from them, if anything she loves them more than I do and ultimately is in a situation to give them a better quality of life than I will be able to offer at this stage, the thing is I know that as always with these things we won’t be able to stay friends in the long run and will drift apart, this means ultimately the time will come very soon where I will have to say goodbye to my little girls for the last time .
(feels like someone is doing a number on my insides with a screwdriver)
At the same time I am in desperate need of a change of work location, I commute an hour or more each way at my own expense every day , due to the ridiculous cost of petrol and car tax in this country just gettin too and from work and facilitating that commute is eating entirely a third of my takehome or more a year, it’s costing me time too, my current car needs to go , additionally I have an unresolved fake accident against me under investigation atm which means I don’t get my NCB
so as well as having to try and deal with my break-up I’m having to keep going to the slave pits , sell my car, find another find a cheap enough insurance quote (it’s a part fucking time job apparently) and find somewhere else to live, because I went from a temp to permanent contract lately I have only had 14 days off this year and thats been used up so I cannot take any to deal with all this.
I was struggling to enjoy 40k as it is at the moment, I think I was wavering on burnout after ToS but I have no enthusiasm or energy for it atm, the missing part for my tantalus turned up yesterday , 2 weeks ago when I first finished the main assembly I would have launched straight on with painting it, my birthday saw me 50% of the way to a complete court of the Archon too, Painting Mon’Keigh (will explain eventually) got me a Reaper from FW, everything else aside I’m lucky enough to know some wonderful generous people through this hobby.
Currently I look at my mini’s and feel dead inside I have even been questioning if I want to play 40k anymore it seems that I only enjoy a game very infrequently, all the mini’s to do just feel like more weight hanging round my neck, my new Morat force for Infinity arrived and I have barely even looked at them, I don’t even want to assemble them.,
Please forgive the gap in posting however long it might be. I need to sort RL now and the blog and the minis just feel like more work and frustration that I frankly can’t handle right now.
Ouch man, sorry to hear.
Captain obvious hat says: You kinda need to cut wargaming until you get your shit together.
Hope for better days.
Well, unfortunately, that’s life 🙁
Fortunately, we live in an age where you get the chance to turn things around and drag yourself back to a situation that will work for you.
Life gets in the way sometimes, but it seems good that you have finally started to sever the dead weights that have been holding you back, as such. When you finally get your shit back together, you will be very happy that all this has worked out the way it has.
Feel for you man 🙁
It’s a shame, I really enjoyed your blog and paint job. Hope you’ll be back soon!
I don’t know how much stuff you have, but I’d suggest liquidating anything you don’t have a sentimental attachment to. Money is not abundant, you don’t have time to play, they’re just possessions. Let go.
But don’t sell anything you’ve had for years and still have happy memories of. I made that mistake…
That sucks man, and must be really really hard.
Sometimes life knocks you down, and gets really rough, but the main thing is slogging it out and getting back up. Eventually things will get better.
I wouldn’t suggest selling stuff unless your 100% sure your done, its one of those decisions which can bring in a relatively tiny amount of money, but often later on requires a huge investment to get back.
Everything will probably taste like ash for a while (figuratively), just don’t give up.
Sounds like your really paying through the nose for your transport though! Have you considered a motorcycle or scooter? If your a safe driver and have good roads and no extreme snow/ice in winter it can be a really cheap alternative to a car. Scooters particularly are disgustingly cheap, if you can deal with the limited storage space.
Hope things turn up for you soon!
Not good buddy, not good at all. Anything I can do let me know.
since you have to get a new place, couldnt you look at moving closer to work chap??
i wouldnt sell ur stuff, you still have a job etc and it would be an emotional knee jerk, you may even find that the wargaming/painting gives you something to do to take your mind off things and force you to be social….. give it a bit of time and see how you go….
break ups are never easy no matter how long or short, but try and focus on the fact ur doing it mutually and for the right reasons…. not over a mistake one of you made… No Regrets….
Know just where you’re coming from. My fiancee and I split up almost three years ago now, the day after my own birthday.
When we had moved in together, I’d gotten rid of most of my furniture, etc. as hers was nicer. We had just finished getting rid of her debt load, and were beginning to work on mine. A lot of mine had come from our wedding plans. When we split up, she kept the dog. A lot of her dissatisfaction was coming from the hours I’d been working for the last half year or so. A sixty to seventy hour week was the norm back then.
What you’re going through now, emotionally, is normal. It sucks. We shut down some inside to preserve ourselves. There is only so much we are capable of processing at any one time.
To begin with, I felt just the way you do now about all my hobbies. However, I found that within a month or two I was losing myself in painting. It was something my conscious mind was doing while my subconscious processed. I’d occasionally say something out loud, realize what I’d just said, and realize I’d just come to terms with some aspect of what had gone on that had been bothering me.
Three years later, the dog has been living with me for just over two years now. He bit the hell out of her next boyfriend, and the mutt was mine again days afterward. (He’s never bit anyone else b.t.w.) All the overtime helped address the financial situation. All the painting as therapy has my Space Wolves at about battle company strength. \
Point of all this being, you’re in an ugly moment in life. It’s going to pass. When it has, you’ll be wanting to do the things you enjoy. Your hobbies of the recent past will be things you regret not having access to if you do something radical now, indulge in change just for change’s sake. Believe me, I know. When things are ugly in life, sometimes it seems like any change must be a good thing because it will be different, when you really want things to be different than they are.
Hang in there. Tackle the issues facing you as you have the opportunity to do so. When you have the time, concentrate on indulging yourself with something you really enjoy. It can be something little, almost insignificant, as simple as grabbing a good breakfast, someplace you really like while you enjoy a moment of peace before the day really gets going. (Yeah, that’s one of mine).
You’ll get through this. When you do, you’ll be able to plug right back into the parts of life you enjoy the most, and be able to enjoy them even more just from the perspective you’ve gained from, this. Best of luck.
Cheer up, mate!
40k is just a game and the key thing about being a game is that it should be FUN. If it ain’t providing you with enjoyment, take a break from playing and go back to the painting table. Work on projects you like and want to do for a while. Not for any particular army list or something, just for a fun creative outlet. Might help you get through hard times.
sorry to hear things haven’t got better since saturday night. If you want to meet up for games or drinking message me
if you check here before i remember to text you or whatever, gimme a shout.. i feel a trip to some form of public house that doesnt look like the inside of some deranged rapist is in order.
Yer my dogz, so listen…..
I know quite well how hard this sucks right now….the screwdriver line fits perfectly.
You’re losing a great deal in a short period, and that’s painful.
If deep in your heart you know leaving the lady kinda had to happen, then so be it.
While letting go can be difficult, it might have been necessary, no?
The cats, however….well, collateral damage can hurt more. I understand, trust me.
However, I want you to keep yer chin up, because…in a way, big changes in your life are obviously afoot.
You may be facing some adversity and heartache, but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, my dude….please believe that.
Somewhere out there, there’s a new crib, and a stray kitty.
Women will most likely come and go throughout a lot of your life…it happens.
It will take a while to get over this one, yeah…but you will.
Be eezy, my brother.
P.S.- it’s nice to see some of your friends posting up here looking for you.
Hang out with your boyz, have a few drinks.
Rant and rave a bit, if you have to…get it outta your system.
Trust in your friends- they’re here for you in these times.
Good friends make a world of difference, when it all hits the fan.
Sorry that all of these issues have come to be. I was at a low in the hobby too but coming to this site for advice and inspiration has pulled me along and now I am wanting to compete in the Demons once again. I have a group of medals and a demon trophy but went through a low like you. I wanted to sell all of my hobby stuff. Hang in there and it will get better. Without these lows we can’t experience the highs the way we all do.
I actually came to visit the site today to ask you if you would be willing to do a tutorial on your OSL style because you have created so much inspiration within me…..that I want to start an Dark Eldar army. I am an eldar fan at heart and instead of going the wrong side and starting marines or something else…..I have decided to get into the darkside of Eldar. I would like to ask you if you would mind taking some up close pictures of the pieces you are really proud of and would consider the better of the OSL. That would help out big time.
Please hang in there play some games and paint. This will help to keep your mind off of the issues. Paint with a group. Paint what you have so you don’t have to spend money and then post it on here!@!!!! :):)
sorry to hear this mate, been there, wore that hat, but it does get better.
take care and remember your not alone.
Who’s Feature of the Week over at the Ammobunker?
Eh ? you wanna elaborate ? maybe throw in a linky, can’t find anything on there ?
Scroll down, we featured a couple of pics this week.
Hey Sorrow I know you’ve got your own stuff going on atm, but its depressingly quiet in the blogosphere 😛
I hope your doing alright.
Would you like me to write up a noob DE article as a guest writer for you, full of opinion and half truths for people to argue about? I’m sure I can start some controversy!
There is a chance I’ll chase away all your hard earnt followers, but I have to admit its a bit depressing checking most days to find no updates here.