Sorry there has been nothing on here recently, I would usually opt to keep this hobby pure, but I feel I should at least explain why it’s quiet around here and likely to remain so for at least a little while.
Not too shure where to start, this weekend was a write off for two reasons, by birthday and also me and my GF of 5 years have gone our own ways, we care about each other a great deal and have been through the ringer, but we just can’t make it work ,our reationship has been dying a slow lingering death these last two years and we were growing into people neither of us liked , she disliked me and herself and us, i disliked her myself and us ….we had a big bust up over something ultimately trivial last week which I think after some days to think on it raised too many questions to just brush under the carpet and return to the vicious cycle.
I’m heartbroken, I must leave now, an that means leaving my cats too, I can’t split them up, the cats, or her from them, if anything she loves them more than I do and ultimately is in a situation to give them a better quality of life than I will be able to offer at this stage, the thing is I know that as always with these things we won’t be able to stay friends in the long run and will drift apart, this means ultimately the time will come very soon where I will have to say goodbye to my little girls for the last time .
(feels like someone is doing a number on my insides with a screwdriver)
At the same time I am in desperate need of a change of work location, I commute an hour or more each way at my own expense every day , due to the ridiculous cost of petrol and car tax in this country just gettin too and from work and facilitating that commute is eating entirely a third of my takehome or more a year, it’s costing me time too, my current car needs to go , additionally I have an unresolved fake accident against me under investigation atm which means I don’t get my NCB
so as well as having to try and deal with my break-up I’m having to keep going to the slave pits , sell my car, find another find a cheap enough insurance quote (it’s a part fucking time job apparently) and find somewhere else to live, because I went from a temp to permanent contract lately I have only had 14 days off this year and thats been used up so I cannot take any to deal with all this.
I was struggling to enjoy 40k as it is at the moment, I think I was wavering on burnout after ToS but I have no enthusiasm or energy for it atm, the missing part for my tantalus turned up yesterday , 2 weeks ago when I first finished the main assembly I would have launched straight on with painting it, my birthday saw me 50% of the way to a complete court of the Archon too, Painting Mon’Keigh (will explain eventually) got me a Reaper from FW, everything else aside I’m lucky enough to know some wonderful generous people through this hobby.
Currently I look at my mini’s and feel dead inside I have even been questioning if I want to play 40k anymore it seems that I only enjoy a game very infrequently, all the mini’s to do just feel like more weight hanging round my neck, my new Morat force for Infinity arrived and I have barely even looked at them, I don’t even want to assemble them.,
Please forgive the gap in posting however long it might be. I need to sort RL now and the blog and the minis just feel like more work and frustration that I frankly can’t handle right now.