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Chariots of Fail...

One of the saddest moments for any wargamer is the realization your favorite models have some of the worst rules. Making things still worse is realizing you cannot figure out a good "counts as" for the same models. This is the sad predicament for the great looking, but eternally flawed Seeker Chariots of Slaanesh. All the combinations for bad game design are there, and to demonstrate let us break down the basic rules for these pathetic excuses for units.

(Click to Enlarge)

Seeker Chariot of Slaanesh Rules 2013


 

Hellflayer of Slaanesh Rules 2013


Exalted Seeker Chariot of Slaanesh Rules 2013


Compare &  Contrast

  • Armor Value
  • Open Topped
  • Fleshshredder
  • Single Wounds
  • Soulscent

 

--Tin Can Tactics--

The Slaanesh Chariots all have the same Armor Value of 11/11/10, now for what they are this its expected, but in the minefield of strength 6-7 spam it can't hold up. It doesn't help either, two of three have only two hull points to spare. Even a few Heavy Bolters can take out a these Chariots.

--Death Trap--

Once again fluff wise it makes sense, but in practicality it is a terrible idea. As Open Topped vehicles it means Chariots have a much easier time blowing up, and with the Exalted Alluress strapped to the thing there is no escape.

--Flimsy Flesh--

On the surface Fleshshredder is pretty cool idea; rending Hammer of Wrath attacks, one problem it is dependent on Hull Points!! The thing you most probability be without by the time you can even attempt an Assault. The even bigger problem is Fleshshredder is what defines these units and to have such a crappy implementation really does it in.

--Push Over--

If by some miracle you make it Assault you still have a rider, who will be dead the by almost anything that survives the assault. This is fixable, by giving the Exalted Alluress more wounds to represent the entire or forcing opponents to kill the vehicle first before the Allruess. Besides what would be so game breaking by making the Alluress able to run around if she loses her ride?

--Soul Suck--

The Hellflayer gets the extra trick of bonus Alluress attacks from the Hammer of Wrath attacks, and all you have to do is pay 20 points more than you your average Seeker Chariot. How GW thought this power was 20 point is beyond reasoning, Soulscent is so situational and poorly designed it really doesn't need explaining.

One of the saddest moments for any wargamer is the realization your favorite models have some of the worst rules.

Putting it all Together...

I am going to try to keep this short, and not too defeatist, but the Seeker Chariots in all their forms are just terrible. They are a kind of terrible often hard to explain, because you can see how GW design team came up with point costs, but never really decided to play-test them in any way for effectiveness. Maybe if the basic Seeker Chariot was 20 points, 30 for Hellflayer, and 35 for Exalted they might have a chance? If they didn't take up any slots, but where just transports somehow, you would really have something to play with. As it is though, they just suck and I cannot stress how rare I say that about units.

You are really stuck in a hard place if you own these models. They are made of cardboard, fly apart from the slightest breeze; all the while even making an Assault will still result in disappointment. So, is there any hope for these units? Well 7th edition might help, but for now they have perhaps one bright spot.

The one marginally good thing is you can stick these chariots in squadrons, making them harder to all of them, and possibly delivering enough attacks to put a dent into in your opponent's units. You just have to hope you roll hot for Rending and the number of Hammer of Wrath attacks.

Sadly, The Hellflayer cannot be in Squadron making it the most useless of the bunch! Making  the Hellflayer easily one of the top five most pathetic units in the game.

As for the Exalted and Seeker Chariots you have something to work with. You can mix and match what Chariots to use, and with enough hull points between them to survive some dedicated shooting. The other bonus these Chariots have is still being Daemons, meaning 5+ invulnerable saves. You want to make sure to avoid all terrain, because guess what? If you immobilize yourself you are stuck with absolutely nothing to do! Use the Seeker Chariots to protect the Exalted Chariot and you might be able to get off an impressive 24 hit Fleshshredder attack! One other thing these Chariots have going for them is the ability to Deep Strike, sure the chances of mishapping is pretty high, but if you are taking these units you are certainly not afraid of taking risks.

The other use for these Chariots is making a super Cavalcade with Heralds of Slaanesh. Now, as far as I can tell Herald of Slaanesh on Seeker Chariots can join each other because they are not a vehicle squadron themselves. These Seeker Chariots also don't automatically have dead riders once they blow up. It makes for a pretty reliable delivery system if everyone is joined together. It also gets around the one wound lameness the Exalted Alluress have.

All these options though will cost you a ton of points and take up valuable slots useable by actual real units. Having a Chariot army is all about model vanity, because the effectiveness on the battlefield laughable. Like I said before even if you happen to make Assault the dice gods can easily fail you with poor Hammer of Wrath or Invulnerable saves rolls.

-- Seeker Chariot Sample Lists--

Seeker Chariot Sample List 1

Seeker Chariot Sample List 2

A Word about Allies

Hahahahahahaha...

NO!

Remember unlike other Battle Brothers Daemons ICs cannot join with Chaos Space Marine units under any circumstance.

Final Thoughts...

Overall, Heralds of Slaanesh are only for Slaanesh sycophants or upper-class wargamers. If you have the money and time you can make an epically awesome looking Chariot force, but assume every time you are going to lose horribly. These units are such a tabletop disappointment,  I can only pray GW learns a lesson and makes Chariots good in 40k soon, because these great looking models deserve better!

Warning

It's Like Tactics is rated theory hammer because these are general observations and assumptions based on only few tested games.

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